The Ballad Of The Girl With The Velvet Heart
by reverse-swing
Summary: Alex Vause had never considered herself anything out of the ordinary, but these days she's to be feared and loathed. Yet Piper Chapman's blood still stains her brain; the weight of a crime she didn't commit. So she's out for the truth, revenge and everything in-between, because if you dive into the deep blue sea, it's only a matter of time before you meet the devil.
1. Chapter 1

_**AN: Hello folks, thanks to the wholesome goodness of S5, i've been sucked back in again.**_

 _ **This latest fic is loosely based on the book 'Horns' by Joe Hill and if you haven't read it, you should, it's truly magnificent.**_

 _ **Flashbacks in italics.**_

 _ **Enjoy.**_

…

 _You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father's desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him._

 _ **John 8:44**_

…

She's dimly aware that it's still raining, at least that's what her bones are telling her; chilled and stiff, back pressed against a slab of gravestone. She'd read the engraving hours ago, when the watery sun began to dip just out of sight, melting into the horizon.

 _Mary Rose Watson, beloved mother and grandmother, sleeping with the angels._

There was a time when Alex would have scoffed at such a clichéd epitaph, but now, she doubts she could even find a single person who'd write such a thing for her…and _mean it_ (except for maybe Nichols, at a push and Diane) _b_ ecause, ever since the disappearance of Piper Chapman 12 months ago, this town has branded her a criminal…a _murderer_.

And some days, like today, when she wakes to a sky that's nothing more than a swirling grey mass, mottled with rain clouds, she can barely even muster the energy to believe in herself.

But there's not blood on her hands, just her brain and then there's her heart….

….. _oh her heart…._

… _.._ a swollen, battered thing she can no longer comprehend.

But Nichols tells her to hang in there, so she _tries._ Her mother keeps smiling warmly, telling her it will all blow over and so she nods. And yet all she can see is Piper's eyes, all she can hear is her laugh

But all she can taste is _blood…._

 _Maybe_ she's starting to like it that way.

…

 _Church is more stifling than usual this Sunday, dry summer heat and too many bodies squeezed together in a confined space and Nichols keeps fidgeting, poking her in the ribs, or picking out sentences in the bible that can be construed as something lewd, juvenile even for your average 16 year old._

' _Course me and you, we're going straight to hell' she whispers with a grin. Alex doesn't need to clarify why. Instead she kicks her friend in the shin, hoping it will get her to quiet down and flicks her eyes over the gathered congregation._

 _There's the usual suspects; the butcher, the baker, the candlestick maker and just as she's about to make her excuses to her mother (who is only there out of politeness to the local pastor-a frequent customer at their café) something bright catches her eye. At first she figures it's just the sun glinting through the stained glass windows, the only part of the church that Alex likes. She's spent countless Sundays such as this, watching rainbow refractions dapple the canvas of the church floor, but after a minute or so it becomes apparent that's not what it is._

 _She cranes her head a little to get a better look and finally she finds the source- a blonde girl, around her own age, sat on the row of pews second from the front. She's holding a gold pendent and as the sunlight hits it, she's directing it straight at Alex. But then their eyes lock and she drops the necklace from her hand so it's lying back against her chest and she smiles. And it's so warm and lovely it's as if_ _ **she**_ _is the sun._

' _Hey jackass, I asked if you were coming to the arcade later' Nichols hisses, so loudly that Diane raises a finger to her lips._

' _If you want', Alex mumbles, eyes still fixed on the blonde, who has now turned away and is listening intently to something her mother (Alex assumes) is whispering to her._

 _The older woman is all Parkslope- twin sets and Chanel and pearls. But the girl, she seems out of place somehow. And Alex is so fixated on this thought that it takes her a full minute to realise that the service is over and everyone is slowly filing out of the church._

 _Diane sidelines her as she's trying to escape outside and introduces her to Mrs Ormerod, the new music teacher at the local high school._

' _I hear you're quite the pianist' she says to Alex. She seems pleasant enough, middle aged, slightly plump and mousey with rosy cheeks, but all this time chatting is time wasted, time she could be waiting outside for the girl. Her eyes glance back over to where she was sitting, but the bench is empty and just as Alex is about to sigh and write it off as just_ _ **another**_ _Sunday, she spots something, discarded on the girl's pew._

 _After several more minutes of small talk, her right foot starting to tap in agitation, she excuses herself from the two women, she mentions a promise to meet Nichols and her mother tells her not to be too late back home. 'I think I dropped something out of my pocket' Alex adds, 'better check my seat'._

 _She ambles back to where she'd been seated earlier and then, when she's sure the women have left and no one else is watching, she darts over to the blonde girl's pew._

 _Sure enough, something_ _ **has**_ _been left there- the pendent. A sunbeam is hitting it directly and it bends the light, causing it to bounce up onto the ceiling above Alex's head, as if it's some sort of halo._

 _And right at that moment, Alex Vause thinks that maybe there is a god after all._

…

The horns aren't what she expected, that is, based on pictures she's seen in bad horror films or storybooks. They're not long and viciously protruding, but instead smaller, barely visible under her long dark hair, but soft to touch.

But they _are_ horns, of that there can be no doubt. So she carries on staring at them a little longer, hands gripping the sides of the sink, hoping against hope this is a bad dream, a terrible come down or _both._ The inside of her mouth feels furry and tastes of stale rum. Something she's gotten used to over the last year.

Her cell rings, she stumbles to the bedroom to answer it. It's Diane. She makes small talk, asks why Alex has skipped Sunday dinner the last few weeks. Alex cobbles together excuses about being busy with work, even though she'd been fired from that job months ago and is living off savings and Nichols' good will.

'So what's new with you then honey?' She asks it's tentatively, like she's lit a fuse for something and isn't sure when to expect the explosion.

 _I dunno ma, I woke up this morning and sprouted a pair of fucking devil horns, I think I might need to bathe in a little holy water._

'Nothing mom, I'm doing ok' she says, fingertips running over the horns.

'That's good baby, I gotta go, I've left Barb on the till by herself, why don't you come by for some Apple pie sometime huh? Don't be a stranger?'

The words make Alex's insides ache, because she so wants it to be like it used to be, when her mother didn't punctuate sentences with pity.

'I won't' she says. 'Take care' and then she hangs up and find herself surprisingly breathless. There's a half empty bottle of booze by her bed, she takes a couple of swigs, figures it's kinda like mouthwash and sits for a few minutes, trying to fathom what to do about the fucking horns.

She toys (very fleetingly) with the idea of going to church, after all, if a pastor doesn't know what to do in these circumstances, then who the fuck would? But as with most places in this town, she's pretty sure she's no longer welcome there. So she does what she always does these days when she's run out of ideas. She calls Nichols, tells her it's an emergency and ten minutes later she's at her door.

…

 _It's been three weeks since she's spotted the girl and every Sunday since, Alex has been first and last out of the church service. It's gotten to the point that Nichols is asking her if she's turned to the 'dark side' if she's gonna sign up to be a fully fledged member of the 'god squad', but Alex doesn't want to tell her about the blonde…..not just yet. It feels like something deliciously private._

 _But after week three comes and goes, she's not sure whether to write the whole thing off, although all she's done every night since, is sleep with the pendent underneath her pillow, as if it will somehow help make her dreams more ethereal and pleasurable._

 _And sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't, but more often than not they feature the girl, bathed in a golden glow and always, just_ _ **slightly**_ _out of reach._

 _Today is the fourth Sunday of the month and she's turned up, as usual, with the pendent in her pocket and a giddy optimism in her heart. But the day gets off to a bad start. She overhears Jessica Wedge in the pew over from her making fun of her shoes, 'look at those fucking bobo's on Vause' she says to Riley Anderson, giggling loudly. Alex's green eyes darken like a brewing storm and she hunkers down in her seat._

' _What's up with you?' Nichols asks._

 _Alex nods curtly towards Jessica._

' _You're letting Wedge piss you off? Fuck her'_

' _Keep it down will you' Alex says, keenly aware the service is about to start._

' _Seriously, don't worry about her, I heard from Chip Barker she's got a wart on her va…'_

' _Nichols!' the brunette hisses._

 _Her friend chuckles and flips open her bible, scanning it for more paragraphs she can make inappropriate jokes about. And just as Alex scans the crowd, ready to write off yet_ _ **another**_ _Sunday (the pendent practically burning a hole in her pocket) she spots the blonde. And her heart leaps up so ferociously into the confines of her ribcage, she's sure it can be heard reverberating around the church hall._

 _She stuffs her hand in her coat pocket, curling her fingers around the cool metal._

 _And suddenly, everything seems ok._

 _ **AN: As you know, I don't leave incomplete stories, but I'm not sure how quickly I can write this, or how long it will be, because I have other writing projects on the go and life and all that Jazz. Plus I'm not a writer that ever has a story complete when I bring it here, largely because I don't work to a plan, so have no idea what's coming next myself. But I'll try not to leave you hanging for too long.**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**AN: Hello again folks. So I'm back sooner than I thought, but this story won't let me rest. Thank you for the comments, follows, etc so far, much appreciated.**_

 _ **Here is chapter 2, as ever, italics signify a flashback.**_

 _ **Enjoy.**_

…

 _Sinner rider, rides in with the storm_

 _The devil rides beside him_

 _The devil is his god, God help you mourn_

 _ **Judas Priest, Sinner**_

…

Nichols is circling her as if she's some sort of circus freak; eyes wide, mouth slightly agape. It's the quietest Alex has ever known her and considering they met in kindergarten, that really is testament to the shock value of the horns.

'Well blow me down with a fucking feather' she finally musters and flops herself down heavily on the couch.

'Gee, thanks for the input' Alex replies, brushing her hair back over the horns, so once again they are barely visible. 'You actually got anything useful to add?'

'Listen, my expertise lies in problems with chicks, how to score decent hash, that sorta thing, _this_ …' she says gesturing in the direction of the protrusions, '…well _this_ is some otherworld bullshit, _way_ outta my comfort zone'.

She's silent for a couple of seconds, still slightly dazed, before adding, 'maybe it's a medical thing?'

'A medical thing?'

'Yeah….although, out of the two of us, I always thought I was the _horny_ one' she grins.

'Really, you're making a joke?'

'Well what else do you want me to do?'

'Oh I dunno, be a friend? Suggest something useful?'

'Who else has seen them?'

'No one' Alex says, wondering how she feels about a lifetime of hat wearing.

'And you only noticed them today right?'

'Yes'

'Well maybe they'll go in a couple of days, maybe they're just a reaction to something, I mean you have been under a hell of a lot of stress the past year'.

She doesn't mention Piper's name; she doesn't need to. It's the sole thing that's being hanging in the air around Alex, since the blonde's disappearance, making everything else fuggy and meaningless- the yoke of a crime she didn't commit, but for which the townsfolk have already found her guilty, despite what the outcome of the court case was.

 _Lack of evidence_

That was what Detective Sparks had told her, 'it's the only reason you got off, you sick fuck'.

And Alex finds herself caught between stifling a scream and yelling an obscenity, because lack of evidence to a rational mind would surely mean she _didn't_ do it?

But she's from bad blood you see, just as Eve was borne of the rib of Adam, she was spawned from the seed of Lee Burley, petty thief, drug addict and all round deadbeat, who'd bailed on Alex and her mom over two decades ago. But bad blood is sticky, like tar and time can't wash it away, not for the 'good' townsfolk around these parts.

And so, at least a few times a week, Alex finds a cop car tailing her, watches as people make a u-turn when they spot her walking towards them and it would all be bearable, just about, if she knew Piper was still alive someplace.

They'd found the blonde's bloodied scarf, no body (thank fuck) no other clues, _nothing._ Just a discarded garment on a patch of wasteland, down by where the old elementary school used to be.

And yet Alex was the last person to be seen with her (arguing no less), her alibi sounds like a joke ( _I was at home after 10pm officer, I fell asleep in my clothes and didn't wake up until 7am the next morning)_ and quite honestly, she has no idea who would want to hurt Piper in any case.

Unlike Alex herself, she was ( _is_ she reminds herself, past tense will be reserved for a time they find a body…) from good stock. The Chapman's had family history dating beyond the establishment of this shit hole town and Piper was everything a daughter from that sort of lineage should be; Smith grad, bright, attractive….but her temper was fearsome, only matched by a stubborn streak that even Alex could barely handle at times.

'Coping mechanism' she'd once told Alex, 'otherwise you'd go nuts super quick with a family like mine'.

She wasn't wrong. 'Proper' folk like the Chapman's had pasts murkier than the depths of the old creek. Bill Chapman was having an affair with his secretary and Carol Chapman spent most of her time downing gin to block it out, to create a safer alternate universe where her only concerns were which handbag to take to which gala dinner, or when her kitchen would need remodelling.

'I saw him once' Piper had told Alex one evening, as they lay on the bonnet of Alex's cutlass, the hood still warm from the day's heat.

'Saw who?' Alex asks, pulling the blonde in closer.

'My father, with his _mistress'._ She'd said it wistfully almost, no anger, no upset, as if over time she'd just absorbed the concept.

'Did he see you?'

She'd shaken her head, nuzzled into the brunette's neck a little, 'but I told my mother….she just blanked me, asked me what I wanted for dinner, made her drink a little _stiffer'._ And then Piper had laughed, but there was a distinct sadness in her eyes. So Alex had kissed her, _firmly,_ for her shitty family, kissed her deeply, for the injustice of it all, but more than that, she'd kissed her because she _could,_ and there was something so lovely about that, that even years after they'd been together, she never could quite get her head around it.

…

She rues it though, that the last time she saw Piper they had argued and some of the last words she said to her were laced with such anger and hurt. But life is about consequences and now she's living with hers.

…

' _The movie is starting in ten minutes Al, can we not wait until tomorrow to have this discussion?'_

' _Are you fucking kidding me?' Alex is beyond pissed, her temper is white hot and so she slams the plastic soda cup onto a table in the theatre reception hall and it topples onto the floor, creating a muddy puddle._

' _Fucks sake…' Piper mutters, eyes darting around the room, conscious that everyone is now watching them and in a town like this, it doesn't take much for gossip to spread. She grabs a handful of napkins from the counter top next to the table and crouches down to try and mop up the sticky mess._

' _Leave the fucking soda will you?' Alex spits and if anything, her tone is louder and more shrill than before, so that even more people have stopped to stare. Two older couples ordering popcorn both tut in disgust and Alex can vaguely hear the name 'Burley' being muttered, but she's too pissed at Piper to deal with a bunch of pensionable busy bodies right now._

 _But Piper continues to ignore her, focusing her attention on the spilt cola. And Alex can feel her temples begin to throb, a crimson tidal wave crashing against her skull. She grabs the napkin dispenser and flings it across the room. It bounces off an automated ticket machine and clatters loudly to the tiled floor._

' _The fuck?!' Piper says wincing at the sound it makes._

 _A man who looks like he's barely graduated high school, approaches them and introduces himself as the manager of the movie theatre. 'Everything ok here?'_

 _He acts like he asking both of them, but he's only looking at Piper. The blonde nods, 'we just made a bit of a mess of your floor'. She dumps the sodden napkins onto the tabletop._

' _Don't worry about that Miss Chapman' (of course he knows her Alex thinks, everyone fucking knows her) 'we'll get that cleaned up right away' and then he glances over at Alex, any warmness to his brown eyes now gone, as they narrow slightly to regard her, before turning back to Piper, 'just let me know if you need anything, ok?'_

 _Piper nods, still evidently embarrassed and Alex's heart is hammering so fast she's sure she's gonna pass out._

' _Let's go outside' Piper hisses. So they trail out into the gloom of the night._

 _It's raining and the wind has picked up so Alex can only see Piper in movie reel type frames, as her dark hair whips across her face, restricting her vision._

' _You can't pull shit like that Al….you just can't' the blonde says, but her voice is no longer angry, it's shaky and yielding and now all Alex wants to do is hold her, tell her she's sorry and start over, but it's too late for that._

' _I know what my father said to you was wrong, but what can I do about it? We're leaving town in a couple of weeks aren't we? Can't you just hold out a little longer?'_

' _I don't have a choice in this Piper, Bill has made it clear that if he sees me near you again, then it's my mom that will pay the price, can't you see why that's not ok?'_

' _So what do you want me to do? I can't grant you and your mother fucking immunity, this is hard on me too!'_

 _The rain is pelting them now, purposeful and unrelenting. Damp tendrils of hair framing Piper's face, making her seem younger somehow, more vulnerable: like_ _ **she**_ _is the one that needs protecting. And that's the frame that embeds itself in Alex's mind, so that months later, she_ _ **still**_ _wakes with it in the middle of the night, as if it's been woven into the fabric of her brain._

 _But they haven't found a body yet and as far as consolations go, it's all she's got._

…

Nichols had left an hour ago and it's only really then, a full seven hours after she has been awake, that Alex realises that gnawing feeling in her stomach is hunger. She checks the cupboards for anything remotely edible, but can only find an empty box of Graham Crackers. Fucking Nicky, never has developed the habit of throwing away empty cartons.

She checks her pockets for change and finds that she only has enough cash to buy maybe a loaf of bread and some milk. She figures it will have to do, she doesn't fancy heading into the main part of town to find an ATM.

So she pulls on a top over her t-shirt and walks down to the local store, hood up, hands stuffed into her pockets, ear buds in (best way to drown out the gossip) and allows Judas Priest to lull her into a world where nobody knows her name.

 _Do you hear the thunder?_

But then she's crashing straight into the warmth of another body and before she can fully gather her bearings, she's looking straight into the eyes of Carol Chapman.

In her head, she's come face to face with Carol multiple times since Piper's disappearance and in those make believe scenarios, she'd delivered a whole verse regarding her innocence. But now, faced with the reality of it all, her throat feels raw and painful and the practiced verse merely a jumble of random words.

But Carol doesn't speak, she merely takes a step back, catching the heel of her shoe on the kerb of the sidewalk and goes toppling backwards. Without further thought, Alex grabs her arm and hauls her back, but in that second, something strange happens. A current seems to pass from the older woman through to Alex, an electric sort of jolt that makes the hairs on the back of brunette's neck stand up.

And then suddenly Carol is speaking, eyes intense and vibrant and Alex can't quite believe what she's hearing.

'I know you didn't do it' Carol says, 'But it's easier this way'.

And the shock of the statement makes Alex release Carol's arm just as suddenly as she had grabbed it and then the woman's eye's change, become more vacant….lost even and she turns and walks away, as if nothing ever happened.

Alex reaches up under her hood, to touch the horns and then it hits her, the only way to the truth has been staring her in the face since this morning and for the first time in a long while, she can feel herself smile.


	3. Chapter 3

_**AN: What can I say? I'm on a little run of creativity at the moment, get it while it lasts!**_

 _ **Here's chapter 3, italics are flashbacks. Comments always welcomed with a fist bump.**_

 _ **Enjoy.**_

…

 _Devil's used to be Gods_

 _Angels that fell from the top_

 _ **Dancing with the Devil, Immortal Technique**_

…

She's holed up in a bar on the very outskirts of town, one of the few places they'll still serve her, because the owner feels sorry for Diane. In fact he'd told Alex as much a week or so after the trial verdict.

The brunette had walked in hurriedly, anticipated being turfed out just as quickly, but instead, Doug, the portly, moustachioed proprietor, looks her up and down, like she's something worthy of being scraped off a side-walk and says, 'i'm letting this go, for your ma, she doesn't deserve this.'

By _this_ Alex had guessed he meant a sexual deviant, a killer, amonster….or maybe all of the above. She chuckles to herself at the thought of the last one and repeats it under her breath, _monster,_ the horns aching a little as the word leaves her lips.

And she pulls the hood a little tighter.

…

She's lost track of time, but the lengthening shadows across her booth indicate it's getting late. But she's still processing what her newfound talent actually means, what it can help her achieve. Although she's still not entirely sure that it wasn't just a one off, or maybe Carol Chapman was so off her tits on Gin and meds that she really didn't have any comprehension of what she was saying.

 _That_ seems the most plausible reason. But there was something about the way her expression changed from an odd sort of intensity, as if she'd been possessed and then quickly back to vacant, as soon as Alex had lost grip of the woman's arm.

She shudders slightly at the thought, pops a few tasteless peanuts in her mouth and swallows the last of her beer, tasting the final dregs of her food money disappearing down her throat. Still, the hunger has abated for now, but the thirst is still prevalent.

So she makes a decision, she's gonna head to the wasteland where they found Piper's scarf. The idea is perhaps foolish at best, reckless at worst, after all, it is the supposed murder spot (she can never bring herself to say that word out loud) but she figures the horns may help her yield something, a clue, a feeling, just _anything._

'You want another?' Doug asks her, wiping down the table and removing her glass before she's even had a chance to reply.

'Do I have a choice?' she says, not in the mood to curb her assholishness tonight.

Doug freezes, mid wipe, stares at her, his top lip curling up slightly and he's so close, Alex can see a fine layer of mustard on his moustache. It makes her grin, even though she knows that's precisely the sort of excuse he's looking for to boot her out.

'Something funny?' he asks.

And she doesn't know whether it's the horns, or the incident with Carol or something else, but Alex doesn't feel like playing nice today, to curb her natural inclinations, after all, she's done nothing wrong, except be born into the wrong family in the wrong town. 'Yeah' she says unflinching, 'something _is_ funny, your ugly ass face'.

And then it all happens so quickly, that afterwards Alex isn't quite sure how she's escaped unscathed.

'You little bitch' Doug says, spittle forming at the corners of his mouth and he reaches out a thick arm to grasp her neck, but Alex is quick enough to grab his wrist and then his face softens, the lines across his forehead dissipate and his mouth relaxes into a flat thin lipped, odd sort of smile. 'I always wanted your mother you know, ever since high school. She deserved much better than that low life bastard Lee and now? The poor bitch is left with a murderous, degenerate daughter to deal with'

Alex's eyes are wide, caught mid way between grim fascination and not wanting to know anything more, but Doug's gaze is still fixed on hers and he doesn't appear to be in any mood to stop.

'I think about her mainly at night, when I'm lying next to Brenda's cold, frigid sleeping body and…'

Finally Alex reaches her limit and releases his wrist. Doug immediately staggers back, as if he's been punched and shakes his head, like he's in a daze. 'I don't feel great' he says and disappears out back.

It takes a minute or two before Alex's breathing goes back to normal, to comprehend what Doug has revealed and the information sends her a little sick. However, the one thing it has done, is confirm the incident with Carol Chapman wasn't a one off.

So she slides out of the booth, her resolve to visit the supposed murder site strengthened and heads out into the still of night.

And for the first time since a year ago, her life suddenly feels as if it has purpose: a firm direction. It's good to keep busy she figures, after all, the devil finds work for idle hands.

…

 _She tells Alex her name is Piper and the brunette thinks it sounds like the loveliest thing that she's ever heard. The blonde's parents are talking to the pastor and the mother occasionally tosses unfriendly glances over at Alex, but it's nothing she's not used to._

 _The girl tells her they're moving to town this week, her grandmother, who Alex is vaguely aware of (Celeste Chapman) is ill and so Carol has decided to move the whole family to spend more time with her._

' _Granny's ok really, kinda fun' Piper says, grinning so goofily it makes Alex's heart feel like a fuzzy thing. 'I'm hoping it will lighten my parents up a bit'_

' _They super strict?'_

' _Sorta' Piper says, twirling a golden thread of hair around her forefinger._

' _You always lived around here?'_

 _Alex nods, 'sadly…'_

' _You don't like it?'_

' _A bunch of busy bodies and nothing to pass the time but the arcade and shitty movie theatre? What's not to like huh?'_

 _And then Piper laughs and Alex gets in a little deeper._

' _I gotta go' Piper says a few seconds later, 'mom's giving me_ _ **that**_ _look' she rolls her eyes._

 _Alex wants to ask when she'll see her again, but she doesn't want to come off as needy or weird. Part of her is also praying that Piper doesn't get in with Jessica Wedge and her crew, she'd already spotted the Chapman's chatting warmly with the Wedge parents. But she reasons that Piper isn't like that...hopefully._

' _Wait' she says, before the blonde has a chance to leave, 'your necklace'. She pulls out the pendant to hand it over._

' _Keep it' Piper says placing her hand over Alex's and the brunette swears she leaves it there longer than necessary, 'you can give it back to me_ _ **next**_ _time'. And she says it so warmly and sweetly, her eyes lighting up so brightly, that Alex can't help but take her at her word._

' _Next time' Alex repeats as the blonde walks back to her parents._

 _She's already counting down._

…

 _Next time in fact, turns out to be the next day. She and Nichols are whiling away some time at the arcade, playing Pacman; dutifully wasting Nicky's birthday money, when Alex feels a gentle hand on her shoulder. She turns in her seat and immediately jumps up when she realises it's Piper._

' _Hey' Alex says, trying to retrieve some composure, 'how come you're here?'_

' _Is that what passes as a friendly welcome around these parts?' Piper laughs._

' _Trust me, that's polite' the brunette replies, feeling the intensity of Nichols' gaze boring into her._

' _You not gonna introduce her to the rest of the welcome committee?' Nicky interrupts, no longer interested in the video game._

 _Alex sighs, 'Piper, this is Nicky, my long running pain in the ass'_

' _Pain in the ass' Nicky says, offering her hand to Piper 'pleased to make your acquaintance' and she bows playfully and it makes Piper chuckle and Alex thinks she'd like to punch Nichols in the shoulder right about now._

' _Didn't you say you had to meet your mom for lunch?' Alex says, hoping that Nicky, just for once, will actually do what Marka has told her to._

' _So I'm a little late' she says, still clutching Piper's hand, 'world ain't gonna end is it?'_

' _No, but you're allowance might, remember what she said to you last time you didn't turn up?'_

 _Nicky sighs and finally drops the blonde's hand and Alex feels her own body lighten a little._

' _You gotta point stretch'. She runs a hand through her thick, wavy hair seemingly weighing up the advantages of playing third wheel and losing her allowance for a month and then finally slings her backpack on._

' _Nice to meet you blondie, welcome to dumpsville'_

' _Thanks' Piper says, 'I think….'_

' _And don't believe everything Vause here tells you….' she says winking and now Alex_ _ **is**_ _wishing she'd punched her._

 _They both watch as Nicky free wheels down the hill on her bike and out of sight._

' _She always like that?'  
_

' _Only on a good day' Alex grins, 'come on, let me show you a nicer part of town'._

 _They walk for about a mile before they reach a thicket of lush forest and the dense greenery is sort of breathtaking against the backdrop of the storm clouds that appeared to have gathered on their stroll. They chat about school, Piper has her heart set on Smith, although the way she talks about it lacks any real passion and Alex can't help but deduce that it's something Piper feels she_ _ **should**_ _do rather than something she_ _ **wants**_ _to do._

' _Do you want to go to college?' Piper says as they hack a path down to the creek. This years rain has sprouted a more aggressive breed of thistles._

' _Nah' Alex says flatly, hoping she'll change the subject. She doesn't really want to explain that even if she was up for the idea (and sometimes she thinks it wouldn't be so bad, escaping the clutches of the town and all) that she couldn't actually afford it._

 _But Piper just smiles and nods and talks about a book she's currently reading and that_ _ **is**_ _something that she obviously cares about, because her face changes, her voice becomes more chattery, as if the words are struggling to keep up with her train of thought._

' _I'll read a bit to you some time, if you like?' she offers._

 _Alex can't think of many things that would be better._

…

 _By the time they make it down to the creek, the sky has an apocalyptic air about it and the rusty brown water at the mouth of the creek only seeks to make the scene feel even more eerie._

 _But if anything, Piper seems to think it's cool: mysterious and dangerous. Alex guesses that's the city girl in her, that a few months spent in this town will soon beat that out of her._

' _You come here a lot?' the blonde asks._

 _Alex shrugs, 'Guess so'. She finds a shrapnel like piece of pebble and attempts to skim it across the surface of the creek, but the trajectory is wrong and so it sinks straight to the bottom without trace._

' _Here, let me have a go' Piper says and by contrast her throw is perfect and the pebble kisses the surface of the water flawlessly._

' _Beginners luck?' Alex asks raising an eyebrow._

' _If I said yes, would you believe me?'_

' _Should I?'_

 _But Piper just laughs and grabs her hand and it sends such a potent, visceral thrill to rip through the brunette that she feels quite giddy for a second._

' _Come on' the blonde says still smiling, 'show me what else is worth seeing around here?'_

 _They walk along the riverbank until they reach a small slope and on the other side of it is a little cave. There are smatterings of graffiti sprayed around the entrance and an array of empty liquor bottles, the labels faded like an old Polaroid. Alex wonders if humans are like that, if their very essence loses fervour over time: dissipating into nothing much._

 _Piper follows her into the cave, so closely that Alex can feel her breath on her neck._

' _It's nothing much, can maybe fit a handful of people' the brunette says, but it's kinda nice just to get away'._

' _Hmmm I get that' Piper says, fingertips tracing the walls as if by doing so, they'll reveal secrets not visible to the eye._

' _I tend to avoid in the summer, too many of the kids from the other side of town hang about then'_

' _The other side?' Piper asks_

' _The bad side'_

' _Ah…so you don't have a bad side?' Her eyes flick to Alex's and they look darker, more serious in the dank of the little cave._

' _I think we've all got a little of the devil in us' Alex grins._

' _It's more fun that way' comes the reply._


	4. Chapter 4

_**AN: I want to preface this by saying please don't get used to these daily updates, just cos I know what a temperamental bitch my muse can be. But whilst the going is still good, here's chapter 4…**_

 _ **Air kisses all round and that. Flashbacks in italics.**_

 _ **Enjoy.**_

…

 _Lord forgive me for what I'm thinkin_

 _It's Saturday night and I'm high and I been drinkin_

 _But Tomorrow morning across the aisle_

 _I look over and I see her smile_

 _Bow my head and the choir sings_

 _Lord forgive me, she's bringin out the devil in me_

 _ **Devil in Me, Anderson East**_

…

 _Nichols has a new toy at the beginning of senior year; her name's Stella Carlin. She's from out of state, out of country in fact and Nichols, rather bizarrely, has been assigned as her 'mentor'. Alex can't think of anyone more ill suited to the task._

' _She's Australian' she tells Alex over lunch on the first day back, 'pretty cool huh?'_

 _Before Alex has a chance to reply, the new girl is walking towards them and is about to plonk herself down in the seat that the brunette has reserved for Piper and Alex isn't entirely sure that she's comfortable with that._

 _Nichol's immediately spots her discomfort. 'It's alright' she says nudging Alex, 'I'll take her for a tour by the time blondie arrives'._

 _Alex doesn't reply._

 _They pass a few minutes making small talk, diligently shovelling Sloppy Joes into their mouths and discussing the already established cliques._

 _The girl isn't unfriendly by any means, well not overtly, but there's just something about her that makes Alex's stomach knot unpleasantly. The way her eyes don't settle on any one thing for long, the continuous jiggling of her knee as if she's constantly trying to dispel nervous energy and a laugh that never quite seems to reach her eyes. But Nichols is evidently already enamoured._

' _You should come hang with us at the arcade after school' Nicky says and the girl readily agrees. Alex finds herself already thinking up an excuse to swerve it._

 _By the time Piper arrives in the canteen, lunch is at it's tail end and most of the benches around Alex have cleared anyway, so to her annoyance, Nicky doesn't take Stella off as she had earlier promised._

 _Piper places her tray down and flops next to Alex. 'Sorry I'm late, I was chatting to Mr Reynolds, turns out he knows my mother from way back and…'_

' _Teachers pet?' Stella says, but in a manner that's a little too biting to be humorous, although Nichols doesn't appear to notice and chuckles along._

' _Chapman here doesn't need to be teacher's pet, her parents could probably buy up this whole goddamn town, ain't that right Chapman?'_

 _Alex kicks Nicky under the table, but Piper just smiles and peels the lid off her pudding cup._

' _I'm Stella by the way' the new girl says, offering her hand, 'Stella Carlin'._

' _Piper' the blonde nods, but she doesn't take her hand and the rebuff gives Alex a little burst of satisfaction._

' _You coming to the arcade after school too?' Stella says, attention still focused on the blonde._

 _Alex squirms in her seat, not sure what to do for the best. Her plan when she had woken up that morning was to ask Piper to the movies. The theatre was doing a re-run of some hammer horror that she figured the blonde might like, but thanks to Nichols, that seemed like it was being blown out of the water._

 _Piper looks over at her and Alex knows exactly what she's thinking, that Alex will be at the arcade later and as they've practically spent the whole of the two weeks together since Piper's been in town, why should today be any different? So she readily agrees._

 _Carlin's eye's shimmer with a clear sense of victory and suddenly all Alex can taste is a greasy film of Sloppy Joe meat. She pushes her tray away, feeling like she's going to puke and throws Nicky a scowl. It's pointless as she's too busy showing Stella some video of her doing smoke tricks on her cell._

 _Before Alex has the chance to say anything further, the bell goes, signalling the end of lunch._

' _Shame we don't have any lessons together this semester' Piper says as they walk down the corridor to class._

' _Them's the breaks kid' Alex says smiling, 'what you got now?'_

' _Biology' Piper says without flinching._

' _Already memorised your timetable huh?' Alex says grinning._

' _No harm in being organised' Piper replies and there's just the most delicate flush of her cheeks as she says it._

' _Here I am' she finally says, stopping outside a classroom. To Alex's annoyance, Stella is already inside, sitting near the front and she smirks as soon as she sees Piper._

' _So I'll see you after school?' Piper says, practically bouncing on the balls of her feet, textbook clutched to her chest. And it's so genuine and lovely that it makes Alex's stomach feel as if it's crumpling into a warm, fluttery heap._

' _Sure' she says replying, 'someone's gotta keep you out of trouble?'_

 _Piper laughs and disappears into the class, but Alex stays a minute or so longer watching Carlin doodle things intently onto a note pad, but she can't make out what they are from where she's stood. So she eventually leaves to get to her own class._

 _The feeling of uneasiness doesn't leave her for the whole day though and she's not sure if it's because lunch was especially gross or if it's because of Stella Carlin._

 _But she has a horrible notion, that it's the latter._

…

 _The arcade is heaving after school, as is the norm. Even Jessica Wedge and her cronies are there, sipping milkshakes in a corner, watching some of the football jocks, yelp and whoop as they blow up aliens._

 _But Alex's mood has been off since lunch and she kinda wishes she'd gone straight home instead._

 _Nicky and Stella have been playing air hockey since they got here, but although Stella is laughing and nodding in all the right places, she keeps firing glances towards Piper and before Alex knows it, her own fists are balled up at her sides and her head is pounding._

 _After an hour or so, Carlin catches the puck in the wrong place and sends it sailing into the air, so that it narrowly misses Piper's face. And it's as if a flare has been fired, because Alex has shot up from her seat and is marching straight towards Stella. She shoves her hard in the shoulder, making use of the height advantage she has and the girl goes stumbling into the wall behind her._

' _Oh shit…' Nichols mutters, sensing the beginnings of a storm._

' _Holy fuck, what's your problem?!' Stella says dusting herself down._

 _Alex notes with satisfaction, that it's the first time she's seen her without a smug little grin. And it feels rather nice that she's the cause of it._

' _My problem? Oh I don't know, how about the fact that you almost decapitated my friend playing your lame ass game?!'_

' _It's a plastic puck, chill the fuck out' Stella replies scowling._

' _Al' Piper says gently tugging on the sleeve of the brunette's jacket, 'leave it, I'm fine'._

' _Why don't you listen to her Vause' Stella says, shoving past her and back to the hockey table._

 _By now the room has fallen silent, save for the odd zombie explosion or virtual car crash, all eyes fixed on Alex, and she's beginning to wish she'd thought this through a little better._

' _Vause?!' Nichols says, lacerating the momentary trance Alex is in, 'you good?'_

 _Alex nods and with a final glare at Stella, she mumbles something about 'needing air' and leaves. It only takes her a second to swipe Stella's bag on the way out, whilst Nichols is fawning over her, making sure she's ok. Alex figures she'll toss it in the trash on the way home, anything to cause the dingo fucker more hassle._

 _She waits in the alley around the corner from the arcade and lights a cigarette. She counts to ten, figuring that if Piper isn't here by then, she'll just go home, lick her wounds and crawl into bed._

 _1…..2…_

 _No sign of the blonde as yet and Alex's thoughts begin to freefall; maybe her reaction put Piper off? After all, to a bystander it would seem a little out of kilter. But there's something about Carlin she can't quite shake, something more than an irritation, more than a fleeting judgement._

 _Her core is bad; Alex is certain of it._

 _3…4….5….._

 _Still nothing. She takes another deep drag on her cigarette, eyes fixed on a slice of electric pink, sandwiched between rainclouds on the horizon; no escape._

 _6….7….8….9…_

 _She can't bring herself to say ten._

 _Fuckin' pussy….._

' _Al, there you are!' Piper says, slightly breathless, 'I had no idea where you'd got to'._

' _Well I'm_ _ **here**_ _and you're_ _ **there**_ _, so I guess that solves that little mystery then doesn't it?'_

 _She's being a bitch and she knows it, although she's no idea why she's taking it out on Piper, just that she's sick of the injustice of it all; her goddamn fucking miserable life._

' _Have I done something to upset you?'_

 _Alex shakes her head._

' _Well what then?'_

 _She's not really sure what to say, maybe this is the Lee Burley part of her; the dickish unreasonable part. Maybe she even likes it a bit…_

… _kind of._

' _I just haven't a great day is all Piper, it's fine, go back inside, have fun, I'll catch you at school tomorrow.'_

' _Hmmm…'_

' _Hmmmm? What does that mean?'_

' _Means I don't believe you'_

' _Good you shouldn't, I'm not to be trusted' but her voice has softened now, a gentle quiver to it._

 _And Piper laughs and she feels like even more of an asshole._

' _Well rightly or wrongly I trust you…now you gonna stand here and sulk? Or come back inside?"_

' _Sulk'_

' _Figured as much' but she's still smiling so Alex guesses they're ok again and suddenly her shoulders feel a little lighter._

 _She takes a final puff on the cigarette and tosses it into a puddle. 'I'm good honestly Piper, just tired, I'll catch you at school, ok?'_

' _Ok' the blonde finally concedes, 'but how about we go to the movies tomorrow evening, there's a re-run of a hammer horror film, I figured it'd be good,_ _ **just**_ _you and me?'_

 _It's the just you and me bit that Alex is so thrilled about, because Piper is voluntarily cordoning them off from the others, Nichols and co. like they're a separate entity._

' _That cool?' the blonde adds._

' _It's cool' Alex replies._

' _See you at school then' Piper says, making her way back into the arcade._

 _Alex lights another cigarette in celebration._

…

 _She stays in the alley for a little while longer and toys with the idea of giving Carlin her bag back, well just dumping it some place in the arcade that is, after all, stealing it was pretty juvenile. But then she remembers the notebook from earlier and curiosity gets the better of her, so she opens the backpack and retrieves it._

 _The first few pages are just a jumble of math equations, but near the middle, she finds what she's looking for, a series of ink drawings, scarily detailed, of a girl…_

 _..a dismembered girl._

 _And suddenly Alex's throat is dry._

…

The Cutlass is coughing and spluttering as if it has some sort of terminal disease, throwing out soot coloured clouds from the rickety exhaust, but Alex doesn't have the money for repairs right now, so she's praying it will at least get her to where she needs to be tonight.

She'd ducked home first, still a little shaken from Doug's repulsive confession and showered, before pulling on some jeans, a sweatshirt and a beanie hat for the horns.

Her hunger is back with a ferocity that sends her a little sick and then she remembers the last time she'd seen her mother, she'd sent her home with some leftovers to freeze. Chicken potpie.

 _Always was Piper's favourite._

'You keep hold of this girl Al' her mother had said beaming one Christmas, 'she's a special one'. The memory jars in her brain inconveniently, the word 'special' hissing through her skull.

She shoves the plastic container into the microwave and nukes it for five minutes flat.

She eats but doesn't taste, but it does the job and soon she's back in the car again, heading to the wasteland.

It's 10pm by the time she gets there. The sky is starless and vast; nothing to guide her. The local kids should be long gone by now and the cops haven't been interested in this site for months, so she should be safe.

She pulls up near the old elementary school and cuts the gas, but just as she's about to scramble out, she hears the roar of a motorbike, one that she's all too familiar with; it's Stella Carlin.

She thunders along a dirt track leading straight back into town, not noticing the brunette. And just like that she's gone, taking her secrets with her.


	5. Chapter 5

_**AN: Hello, I'm still with muse and therefore have produced chapter 5.**_

 _ **Flashback thingies are in italics. Reviews would be bloody splendid.**_

 _ **Enjoy.**_

 _ **...**_

 _All bad things must end, all bad things must die_

 _Even the devil's gotta pay for his crime_

 _ **All Bad Things, Mötley Crüe**_

 _ **...**_

 _Sleep is mostly a stranger that night and when she does manage to drift off for a few moments, she dreams of Piper being trapped in the cave down by the creek, crimson flames licking up the sides of the stone. But when she get's close enough to examine them, to try and figure a way inside so that she can rescue the blonde, she realises that it's actually blood coating the cave walls; viscous and sticky and it makes her gag, so that when she wakes, she's spluttering uncontrollably for a few minutes._

 _Finally she gives up on the idea of any sort of restful slumber and pads carefully downstairs, so as not to wake her mother._

 _She opens the small cupboard under the stairs and retrieves Stella's notebook that she had hidden under a pile of coats. She examines it again in the kitchen and the harsh illumination of it, under the unfiltered strip light, only seeks to make the drawing all the more unnerving._

' _Honey?' comes her mother's sleepy voice from the hallway leading into the kitchen. Alex slams the notebook shut and stuffs it into a cutlery drawer._

' _Al?' she continues, wandering in to the kitchen, 'you ok?'_

' _Hey mom, sorry, did I wake you?' she replies, her fingers still curled around the handle of the drawer._

' _No, I just went to the bathroom and noticed the lights on downstairs, you feeling sick? You look a little pale'_

 _ **That's what drawings of dismembered women will do to ya ma!**_

' _I'm ok, she smiles weakly, just…you know…..monthly cramps'. She places her free hand on her stomach, as if it will somehow make all of this more persuasive, but Diane doesn't look immediately convinced._

' _You sure? Everything ok at school?'_

' _Yeah of course ma, I'm good'_

' _I notice you've been spending a lot of time with the Chapman kid…'_

 _Alex's insides suddenly feel like jelly._

' _Her folks have been into the café a few times, they seem….like city folk I guess. Must be hard adjusting to town life.'_

 _Alex figures that's her mothers tactful way of saying she hasn't taken to them._

' _The kid, Piper is it? She seem ok with moving to town?'_

 _Alex shrugs, 'I guess'. She can feel her hand getting clammy around the drawer handle._

' _You're not really a girl of many words when it comes to these things are you?' Diane smiles._

' _Well_ _ **it is**_ _2am ma'_

 _Diane laughs, 'you gotta point there'. She pauses and for a second it seems as though she wants to add something else, ask another question, but if she does, she obviously changes her mind. 'Well warm milk always helps me when I can't sleep, oh and I got some more Advil, it's in the cupboard above your head. G'night baby'._

' _Night mom' Alex replies, making sure Diane is out of sight before she retrieves the notebook again and shoves it back in it's hiding place under the stairs, still no clearer on what to do about it._

 _She trudges back to bed, but when she closes her eyes to try and sleep, it's Piper that's on her mind, not Stella._

 _Nicky is pretty much the only person that knows Alex is into girls (what can I say Vasue, my gaydar is epic and you're giving off some crazy Sapphic vibes) and that's the way she'd like it to stay in small town like this, she already has enough shitty baggage she can't rid herself of. But she worries if Piper finds out she'll bolt, think Alex is some sort of sinner._

 _And then her mind wanders to_ _ **the**_ _sin….to Piper…..Piper and_ _ **the**_ _sin….and it's such a delicious pleasurable thought, that she wonders if she isn't the devil after all._

 _..._

Rightly or wrongly, Alex decides to tail Stella back to the trailer park where she lives, hoping that is where she's ridden off to. But when she gets there, Stella's motorbike is nowhere to be seen and her trailer, dotted in a row of ten, is the only one cocooned in darkness.

She toys with the idea of waiting around for her return, but what would she even say? They were never really friends, merely loose acquaintances through Nichols, _very_ loose and the last conversation they had just after the trial, was hardly friendly.

 _I know you didn't do it Vause, you don't have the balls…..but she always was wasting her time with you, shame she didn't realise before it was too late….._

But the horns feel strangely itchy tonight, as if she's on the cusp of something reckless, so she decides to break into Stella's trailer, in the hope it will reveal some clues.

She tries the door handle on the off chance, careful to keep to the shadows, but it's locked and all the windows are shut. She's on the verge of giving up, deciding that smashing a window would alert the neighbours to her presence, when she remembers how Nichols had let herself in, when she and Carlin were going through phase three of being fuck buddies.

She rolls here eyes at the terrible cliché, _a goddamn key underneath a plant plot by the door._ Sure enough, when she lifts the half dead thing, the hidden treasure is revealed. She slots the key in and turns in one motion and the door opens easily. She slides herself in, flipping on the lights and pulling down the blinds so the neighbours don't spot an unfamiliar figure.

The kitchen is a shit tip; virtually every inch of counter-top covered in sticky bowls and empty coffee cups. Blue bottles buzz, trance like around a stain on the rug and Alex shudders to think what once lay there. A pile of unread mail has been dumped next to the cooker. She flips through it quickly not finding anything of interest; they mainly look like overdue bills. Nothing else catches her eye, except for a chipped blue vase by the door. She doubts this place has seen anything as pretty as flowers for years.

She makes her way through to the tiny cubicle like bedroom leading directly off the kitchen and begins pulling open drawers, but it's nothing more than clothes and a packet of photographs from years ago when they were all in high school.

Alex's heart lurches when she finds one of 17 year-old Piper, tanned and toothy, her hand up as if she didn't want the picture to be taken. And Alex is struggling to swallow down the lump in her throat, to dull the fierce prickling of tears that seem to be forcing their way out.

And then _that_ frame clicks back into her mind; Piper, sodden with rain, heavy with fear and hurt as Alex had turned away and left. And her heart feels like an alien leaden thing. And against her better judgement she pockets the photograph that Stella has, because nothing this pure should belong to Carlin she reasons. She's about to check the closet when she hears the roar of a motorbike in the distance and her mouth suddenly feels sandy, because she's sure it's Stella.

So she hurriedly shoves everything back into the drawer and rushes into the kitchen, flipping off lights and putting the blinds back up and as she reaches for the door, with only the pale moonlight as her guide, she knocks over the vase. Her breath hitches in the back of her throat as she watches the whole thing in slow motion, her hands grappling to catch it, but feeling nothing but air between her fingertips.

To Alex's relief, the vessel lands on the stained rug, missing the tiled floor by mere inches, but it makes a strange clanking sound. She tips it upside down and there, landing in the palm of her hand, glinting as brazenly as it did the first time she saw it, is Piper Chapman's locket.

...

 _They arrange to meet outside the movie theatre, rather than at school, largely so that Nichols doesn't attempt to gatecrash._

 _Piper is early, she keeps checking her watch every thirty seconds, willing time to go faster, but if anything, the opposite appears to be happening. Every now and again, she places a hand on her satchel, checking that the bottle of liquor is still there._

 _Finally, bang on time, the brunette appears and Piper is so excited to see her properly, without the distraction of anyone else, that she almost jumps up in delight, checking herself at the very last moment._

' _Hey' Alex says, 'You got the tickets?'_

' _Sure have' the blonde says holding them up, then she lowers her voice, conspiratorially. 'Got something else too'_

' _Oh yeah?' Alex says, raising an eyebrow._

' _Yup, I borrowed a bottle of bourbon from my dad'_

' _ **Borrowed**_ _? You do realise that borrowed implies that a)he's aware that you took it and b) that you plan to return it…..and I'm guessing that neither of those things are true in this case…..'_

' _Well if you're gonna get nitpicky about it….,' she grins._

' _Me? Nah, I'm as easy as they come, especially when it comes to booze'._

' _Well we've got around half an hours worth of trailers to kill before the movie starts, wanna go someplace and drink this?'_

' _You read my mind kid'._

 _They sit in the park across from the theatre and pass the liquor bottle back and forth, taking leisurely sips as they watch clouds scab over the watery sun._

' _Your parents know you meeting me?' Alex finally asks, when she feels buzzed enough to not really care about the answer._

' _Kinda'_

' _Kinda?'_

' _I told them I was meeting a friend…..so…'_

' _Right' Alex says, not entirely certain how she feels about being so firmly boxed into the friend category._

' _They're just controlling is all….if they knew you like I do, I'm sure they'd like you'._

 _Alex can't help but feel this isn't remotely true. By now they would have found out about her deadbeat dad. Sometimes it's hard to fathom how the liquid that pumps through her veins can stain her this way; port wine, over her soul and there's not a damn thing she can do about it._

' _It's a nice idea Piper, but we both know that isn't really true'._

 _The blonde remains silent, takes another few pulls on the booze, shuddering as it goes down._

' _I think my brother Cal saw me steal this' she finally says, breaking the fragile silence that has settled around them._

' _Borrowed' Alex corrects her._

 _Piper laughs and it's wet and giddy and clearly a little tipsy. 'I'm glad I met you Al, you make me feel different, like….I dunno, I can be myself?'_

' _Who else would you be?' Alex asks confused._

' _A version of something better?'_

 _Alex holds her gaze for a second, the air lying thick between them, burgeoning with words that seemingly neither of them can bring themselves to deliver. 'Not a chance kid' she finally says, fracturing the still._

 _And then Piper kisses her and the whole world goes out of kilter._

 _..._

Her brain is frazzled, she'd only just escaped the trailer in the nick of time and now she's sitting in the Cutlass, parked outside a diner with Piper's locket clasped in the palm of her hand.

She's trying to piece together information; when she last saw Piper wearing it, if she'd mentioned losing it, _anything_ that could lead to a conclusion other than what she's thinking right now, but nothing sticks.

Alex guesses she could hand it into the cops, but given her past with them, they'd no doubt try and use it as evidence to pin against her and besides which, she was breaking and entering to retrieve it and that's a felony in itself.

She bangs her head on the steering wheel, harder than she means to and winces immediately at the pain. She reaches up to her temples and remembers the horns and it's then that she realises what she needs to do, to fully understand Carlin's role in all of this.

 _Use the horns and get her to confess._


	6. Chapter 6

_**AN: Muse alert! Well it's still here, but my schedule is pretty hectic this week, so there may be a few days delay for the next chapter. But if you follow this story, the site will alert you, when I return.**_

 _ **So then you lovely lot, here is chapter 6. Thoughts, reviews, deep desires always welcome and if you'd like to discuss my fic in more detail with me, I'm orthodox-swing on tumblr.**_

 _ **Enjoy.**_

…

 _I set out running but I'll take my time_

 _A friend of the Devil is a friend of mine_

 _If I get home before daylight_

 _I just might get some sleep tonight_

 _ **Friend of the Devil, Grateful Dead**_

…

 _The school year seems to go by in a blur of clandestine meetings, exams and nights camped out at the cave by the creek. Piper tells her mother she's staying at Polly Harper's house._

 _Polly is pretty middle of the road as far as high school girl's go; not actively malicious like Jessica Wedge and her pals, but prom matters a little_ _ **too**_ _much to her for Alex to really warm to the girl. But as far as decoy's go, she'll take it._

 _Alex tells her mother she's staying around Nicky's and she never bothers with any follow up questions. But, on the odd occasion, her smile seems to indicate that she knows there's a little more to it, although she never pushes the matter._

 _Nights at the creek with Piper are the sole thing that Alex counts down to; a lovely sort of juxtaposition from the rest of her life. The brunette had gotten her driver's licence the second half of Senior Year and so, on the evening's she's allowed to borrow her mother's beat up old car, she loads it up with sleeping bags and Chef Boyardee Beefaroni and they lie on the hood of the black Ford and talk about everything and nothing, until sleep catches up with the sky; looming shadowy and heavy and they retreat to the cave for shelter._

 _But tonight is different, Piper arrives flustered, her eyes a little wild with panic. 'I think Stella knows,' she says, her breathing slightly jagged, as if the words are getting caught in her throat._

' _Knows?'_

' _About us! She made a dig about how much time we spent together.'_

 _Alex laughs it off, 'what's that little hick gonna do about it?'_

 _But it's false bravado, because she knows just how much trouble it could cause, especially if Bill and Carol were to find out. And the thought of not seeing Piper sends her sick._

 _She puts her arm around the blonde, pulls her in close and prays she can't pick up the rhythm of her ragged heartbeat. 'Listen, if you're worried, I can speak to her?'_

 _ **Snap the little bitches neck maybe.**_

' _Are you sure that's wise Al?'_

' _I can be tactful.'_

' _Hmmmm…'_

' _You're faith in me is a little disconcerting babe.'_

 _Piper laughs and the mood is re-aligned, to something more warm and gentle. 'It's ok,' she finally says after a minute or too snuggled into Alex, her senses flooded with the familiarity of the brunette's scent. 'I can speak to her, make sure it's all ok, maybe I was reading too much into it?'_

' _Maybe,' Alex says, although she doubts it, she's pretty certain that Carlin will use even the smallest suspicion as leverage. She has no idea why Nichols likes her so much….well apart from the obvious influence of her crazy libido._

' _I was thinking of telling Cal..about us….' Piper suddenly blurts out and everything immediately seems frozen in time, still and stifling._

' _What? Why?' Alex says, pulling away from the embrace, you were just freaking out at the thought that Stella might know something.'_

' _I don't know,' Piper sighs, 'it would just be nice to share this with someone_ _ **I trust**_ _, like regular people do. And I know Cal would be cool with it, he's not like Danny, well he's not like any of us really, more of a free spirit.'_

 _Alex chuckles at the thought of a 'free spirit' in the Chapman house, it doesn't seem to fit somehow._

' _So what exactly would you tell him about me?' She has to admit, it would be kinda nice to be a fly on the wall when Piper talks to a third party about her, to see if her eyes light up, resplendent, like they usually do when she gets particularly animated about something._

' _I dunno, just regular things, what you do that makes me laugh, the terrible Beefaroni you keep bringing along in the vain hope that we'll eat it…..just everyday stuff.'_

 _Her confession is so wholesome and innocent and lovely, that Alex's heart almost feels painfully full with love and she knows she can't deny her this._

' _Sure kid,' she says, kissing the top of Piper's head, 'but maybe skip the part about the Beefaroni, don't want him thinking I'm lame.'_

…

She's done with her second cup of diner coffee, hood practically cloaking her face, keen to avoid being recognised. 'You want something else?' The young waitress asks, clacking her gum unappetisingly. She doesn't wait for Alex to respond before she begins pouring more coffee. The brunette grabs the girl's wrist to make her stop and then the girl's brown eyes are wide, coffee still flowing into the mug.

'I wish my momma was dead. Some nights I lay awake, plotting how to kill her and make it look like an accident.'

'Fuck!' Alex yells, as hot coffee overflows the cup and pours down the side of the table, straight onto her lap. She immediately releases the waitresses' wrist, grabs a handful of napkins from the dispenser and attempts to dab ineffectually at the coffee stain on her jeans. The pain doesn't seem to be lingering though, so she figures she's got away without any serious scalding.

When she looks up, the women is standing motionless, as if she's trying to replay what just happened, 'I'm sorry,' she finally mumbles, 'I'll go get a cloth.' Alex doesn't wait around for the aftermath, immediately bolting for the door.

 _Fucking horns._

It begins to rain as she jogs towards the Cutlass, fat sporadic drops; a warning of worse to come. Once inside the car, she flips on the wipers, only one of them still works and she sits, in a trance like daze watching it, as it tirelessly swipes back and forth….back and forth….and then her mind begins to wander, to the one way tickets to San Francisco she still has in the glove box.

And then the pain is back, for the futility of it all; promises gathering dust like a musty library book.

' _You ever just want to build a tree house, one that no one else can see?'_ Piper had once asked her.

And Alex had laughed like she'd been crazy, but now that she thinks about it, really gives it some hard thought, she can't think of anything better than to be lost, somewhere near the cotton candy clouds, the warmth of Piper's body by her side. And for only the second time in the last 12 months, she can feel something wet and warm on her cheeks and she lets it flow, just like rain water.

…

By the time she makes it back to the trailer park, pendant practically throbbing in her jacket pocket, all of the trailer's are cloaked in darkness, but Alex is in no mood to give consideration to anybody's sleeping habits.

She lets herself in with the key, figuring that the element of surprise will be to her advantage. The smell of weed lingers hazily in the air and Alex finds Stella passed out in a shabby armchair, dressed in a tank and jeans. She grabs the woman's shoulder and shakes her awake.

'What the fuck' she says, startled into sitting upright, but Alex doesn't let go of her shoulder, she knows the way the horns work by now, she needs to maintain contact with the her to elicit the truth.

'Vause? How the fuck did you…?! What the ….?!'

'I've got the pendent,' Alex says, trying to spur things along, make her confess as quickly as possible.

She squirms ineffectually under Alex's grip. 'Pendent?' She furrows her brow for a couple of seconds before her brain seemingly catches up with what the brunette is saying. And then she's grinning, sly and proud and it's all Alex can do not belt her, square, in her scrawny little face.

'So you helped yourself to it….you do realise that's theft right?'

Her eyes are almost feline in the moonlight and it's beginning to make Alex feel uneasy, but more than that, she can't understand why she hasn't confessed as yet.

'It didn't fucking belong to you,' Alex hisses.

'Finders keepers,' she smirks.

Alex presses her fingers deeper into Stella's shoulder, maybe she needs firmer contact for this to work and even if she doesn't, it gives her _great_ satisfaction in making this as painful as possible for the little bitch.

'Fuck!" the woman yelps and she's wriggling eel like, but this time Alex steps across her, grabs her throat and pins her to the chair.

'She wanted to fuck me…I know she did,' Carlin chokes out, 'her pussy was always wet for me Vause…let's not pretend.'

'Just shut the fuck up you piece of shit!' Alex screams. Her head is pounding unforgivingly, as if someone is attempting to cleave it in two. 'I know you fucking did it, you've got her pendent, just admit it!'

She's pressing Stella's throat firmer, so hard in fact that Carlin's face is beginning to go blue. The horns are tingling almost pleasurably, as she's blanketed in the most delicious sensation, but still nothing is forthcoming from the little wretch.

'Confess!' she spits, but still nothing and yet it's as if the horns are giving her more strength. And now Stella's eyes are flickering, as if the last ounce of life is being drained out of her, all the lights are dimming. But then something feels off, as if the current is broken and Piper's face drifts into her mind again:

' _You ever just want to build a tree house, one that no one else can see?'_

And the next thing Alex knows is that she's running towards the woods, the rain lashing her, unrelenting, until her chest is tight and her muscles burn. And when she eventually stops and she's soaked to the skin, she prays to everything unholy, that she'll just dissolve into _nothing._

…

When she wakes in bed the next day, evening shadows are already flanking her room. She grabs her glasses from the nightstand and, as is always the way these days, fleetingly, she forgets that there is _no Piper_. And momentarily, the wound is raw again- fresh. And it stings so badly, she has to squeeze her eyes shut tight and force herself to re-align her own reality with that of the world. And it sends her sick.

She calls Nichols to distract herself, but she doesn't pick up and then last night comes back to her in waves. The rain….Stella…..the lack of a confession.

But Stella _is_ responsible for Piper's disappearance it all adds up, she just needs to figure out why the horns aren't working on her.

She decides to take a walk, clear her head, maybe down by the creek if she can stomach it. So she showers and pulls on some fresh clothes (a hat for the horns) and makes it down to the little cave in no time.

It's fall and the wind is crisp but not unpleasant and it feels oddly replenishing. She sits for a while in the cave, tracing her fingertips where Piper had once placed hers and the hollow in her heart expands, until Alex is sure it's nothing more than a cave itself and the vastness of it is threatening to capsize her.

But then there's the sound of tyres and a beam of light and she quickly realises she's not alone. She darts out of the cave, tries to hurry back to the path that leads away to the road, but it's darker than she remembers and everything else feels much more difficult to navigate.

She can hear footsteps, so she swerves in the opposite direction and before she can properly anlayse her surroundings, there's a screaming pain rushing through her ribs as she falls to her knees and she realises she's been hit with a blunt object. She looks up at a group of three men, Carlin standing in the centre of them brandishing a metal pole.

'Not so tough now Vause, huh?' She grins and there's something so comically reptilian about her expression, it actually makes Alex laugh.

Stella's expression automatically hardens into a snarl, 'hold her,' she instructs the men, who roughly pull Alex to her feet, restraining her.

'See if you've got any teeth left to smile after this,' Stella says raising the pole into the air like a baseball bat.

And then everything is just white noise.

…

When she comes to, she's not sure what time it is, but there's a buzzing rushing through her skull and all her bones feel like jelly. She reaches her fingertips up to her jaw and winces. She swallows hard, but her mouth is a bloody mess and all she can taste are the coppery remnants of her pain. She can imagine Nichols's response right now; _all you had was your looks Vause, now you're_ _ **well**_ _and truly fucked._

She rolls onto her back, her body engulfed in a fresh wave of pain and when she can finally regulate her breath again, she stares straight up into the hollow of the night sky, a slice of moon visible through the canopy of trees and she swears, just for a second, she's spotted a tree house, but when she blinks again it's gone. And all she's left with is the hollowness as her sole companion and the hope that tomorrow will be better.


	7. Chapter 7

_**AN: I'm still here, eyes bloodshot, heart pounding from the excesses of caffeine, but here's chapter 7, wee bit of a filler I reckon, possibly a little self-indulgent.**_

 _ **Just to add, I'm not sure of the length of this story at this stage, but maybe only a few chapters more?**_

 _ **Thoughts greeted with a polite, British handshake.**_

 _ **Enjoy.**_

…

 _Submit yourselves, then to God._

 _Resist the devil, and he will flee from you._

 _ **James 4:7**_

…

The next morning, every inch of her body is screaming as if it's just entered the gates of hell and it's all that she can do to haul herself upright. She pops some Advil, washing it down with a few swigs of neat vodka, from the bottle beside the couch (the only thing that had been able to lull her to sleep last night) and waits for a relative numbness to kick in before she attempts anything further.

The growling in her stomach is vicious, she figures getting beaten to a pulp is hungry work. But there's literally nothing in the house to eat now the frozen pie is gone and she can barely make it to the bathroom, before the remaining threads of her body feel as though they're about to snap.

So she calls Nichols, who unsurprisingly still sounds half asleep. Alex doesn't mention anything about last night or Stella, she merely makes some excuse about feeling under the weather and hopes that Nicky will agree to bring a few groceries over.

'So now I'm Florence fucking Nightingale?' Nicky drawls.

'I wasn't aware she had a middle name.'

'Middle name or not, I bet she wouldn't come over with a week's supply of Twinkies cos her pal had the sniffles.'

'Just get over here will you,' Alex says rolling her eyes and realising that even those feel like tiny pin pricks are running over the surface of them.

'Yes Sir!' Nichols mocks.

'Jackass.'

'I love you too Vause.'

…

For the second time that week, Nichols is virtually speechless when Alex greets her at the door. She spends about a minute analysing the bloody, swollen mess of her friends' face.

'Um…you wanna come in?' Alex eventually says.

'You look like a fucking Van Gogh painting or something….maybe….worse…'

'Thanks, you're all heart ya know?' Alex says, taking the bag of groceries, a fire erupting through her lungs. She's pretty sure she's broken at least a couple of ribs and maybe her collar bone, but time is the only thing that will heal them and it's precisely the one thing that she _doesn't_ have.

She dumps the brown paper bag on the kitchen countertop and peers inside. 'You really weren't kidding about the Twinkies were you?' she sighs.

'Hey now, I got you some Lucky Charms too and by the state you're in, looks like you could definitely do with some good fortune. You wanna tell me what happened?'

Alex shrugs, her hand absentmindedly playing with Piper's pendent, now being worn around her own neck. 'Got jumped as I was a leaving a diner last night.'

This shouldn't surprise Nicky, after all it's perfectly plausible, given that Alex has been public enemy number one since Piper disappeared. In fact she's probably wondering why it hadn't happened sooner.

'And you didn't see who it was?'

'It was dark,' Alex mumbles, averting her gaze. No way is she going to tell her about Stella and her trailer trash buddies, because then she'd have to explain why and she's not ready to go down that road just yet, not without further proof. 'Besides,' she adds, 'not like the list of suspects would be particularly short…..you could include maybe everyone, except for you and Diane.'

'I dunno girl, you piss me off sometimes too,' she grins.

'Fuck you.'

'You been to the hospital?'

Alex shakes her head.

'You want me to take you?'

'No, it's nothing that won't be fixed with a bit of time, I'll live.'

'Yeah, but clearly whoever did this, didn't want you to.'

'No shit.'

Alex opens the packet of Twinkies and eats four robotically, one after the other, washing them down with the carton of milk that's also in the bag. It makes her feel less light-headed at least and momentarily grants her some reprieve from being interrogated.

'You gonna just sit there and watch me like I'm some sort of entertainment?' she finally says, when she can't take much more of Nichols' intense gaze.

'Your horns,' she says casually, unwrapping one of the cakes for herself, 'they've gone, like I said they would.'

Alex's hands immediately shoot up to her head and sure enough, there's nothing there. She limps over to the mirror in the living room, as if she can't quite believe it. 'Fuck,' she says finally, 'you're right.'

…

 _It's All Hallows' Eve and Piper has snuck back from college for a couple of days, with a trunk half full of cut price wine. So they rent a room in a motel out of town, where Alex's bloodline is irrelevant and they both just look like a couple of college kids out for a good time._

 _Alex is surprised to find she's looking forward to the anonymity as much as anything else and for the first time in a long while, maybe even since she was a kid, her life feels like her own._

 _They order pizza and watch re-runs of the Addams' Family and Psycho lying on their stomachs, side by side on the pull down bed._

' _Don't you think the dude at reception looked a bit like Norman Bates?' Alex says, examining a pizza crust._

' _Al….don't…' Piper warns, 'not funny.'_

' _Not even a tiny bit?'_

' _Not even a tiny bit….'_

 _And then they both laugh and Alex kisses her and she tastes like cheap booze and maybe she's more drunk than she thought or maybe it's something else, but she swears if there is a heaven, it can't get much better than this._

 _They talk until daw; lazy conversations, hazy plans and endless promises and Alex Vause does the one thing that she's been avoiding her whole life._

 _She begins to hope._

…

It's the hope that kills you they say and maybe they're right, because it's All Hallows' Eve and Piper is still missing.

The horns disappeared a couple of weeks ago and it's a relief in part, not to hear the confessions of the seedy underbelly the town conceals. But without them, she's no closer to the truth, or any sort of respite.

The mornings are the most biting. No shadows to seek refuge amongst.

She tries to order liquor before noon, at a new bar that's opened across town, the owner not yet contaminated by the local gossip. The first time the bartender serves her, he makes a joke about hair of the dog, but Alex blanks him, downs the shot in one and asks for another.

'Just keep refilling until I say otherwise, ok?'

And the man nods, but his eyes have already changed, a mix of pity and disgust, but the booze takes the edge off, until all she can feel is the chill of emptiness and all she can taste is memories.

And scar tissue will fade they say, leaving silvery, fish like scars in their wake, but to fade is to forget and Alex is not sure she'll ever be ready for that.

And still she aches for the numb pleasure of inebriation and so she's taken to drinking alone instead, away from judgemental eyes and charcoal hearts.

Nichols tells her she's a mess, that she should be focusing on getting another job, or at least grovelling to get the old one back, but even she gets tired of the stubborn wall of denial that Alex has constructed.

 _I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house down._

She buys two pumpkins for old time's sake. Her intention is to carve them, just like Piper can….? Could…..?….Can…..?

 _Present or past tense, she can't be certain any longer._

'Why do we need two pumpkins?' Alex had asked on the first Halloween they had properly spent together, where it was just the two of them.

'One good, one bad.'

'Why do we need one of each?'

'Balance.'

'Balance?'

'Yes, keeps the world turning,' she'd smiled.

Alex hadn't questioned it any further and part of her wishes she had. Because it's only dawned on her since Piper's disappearance, how little she may have known about her girlfriend and how much she's worried she will _forget_.

So she sets herself little tests every day, just to see how much she _can_ recall and it's such a detailed exercise, that by the end of it she feels spent, like she does not have room to commit one more thing to memory. But lying in bed at night, hearing the gentle staccato of the rain, there's always something new to recollect. And that's the most painful memory of all, the one she clings to before she sleeps; the one she takes with her to greet the shadows.

…

' _You realise she's the most likable thing about you…?' Nichols says_

' _Funny,' comes the blunt retort._

' _Like,_ _ **the most**_ _likeable thing.'_

' _Thanks.'_

' _Always a pleasure stretch, always.'_

…

This year there are no trick or treaters at her door and she doesn't have to think too hard to understand why.

She decides to take a walk, figuring she can blend in with the other ghouls tonight. And part way towards nowhere, she does a u-turn and decides to go to the one place where sinner and saint alike are welcome.

 _Church._

…

The heavy oak door is already ajar by the time she gets there, the pastor pottering around the altar, placing tea lights into wrought iron holders, oblivious to her presence. Her eyes flick to the pew where she first met Piper and there's a sudden flood of anguish, as a scream claws it's way to her throat; raw and ragged.

And in that moment, she's never had less faith in a higher power that can save, or a hope that can revive, for we were all borne of sin. And languishing in the devil's playground is all that she has left.

…

She toys with the idea of leaving, after all, the pastor hasn't noticed her yet, no damage done. But the confession is on the tip of her tongue, it has been all day, so she forces herself to stay, until she at least receives an acknowledgement.

When the pastor eventually turns around and spots her, he nods solemnly.

'I think I want to die,' she says, her voice quivering around the last word and suddenly she feels foolish and childlike, because in the beginning there _was_ Piper.

'It is a sin to take your own life,' the pastor says flatly. He's known Alex since she was a kid, not that you'd be able to tell.

'Well, most of this town already thinks I'm a sinner, maybe I should live up to my name?' She says it spitefully, frustration chasing the words, but the pastor doesn't seek to correct her.

'You picked the sin, so you should live with it, consider it your penance.'

'Penance?'

'Take my advice, light a candle for her, ask for mercy and be grateful that we've got such a shoddy criminal justice system. ' He hands her a box of matches. 'You've got five minutes until I lock up.'

So she sits solemnly on the bench where she saw Piper for the first time and she bows her head (it could be in prayer or it could be in suffering, she's not sure which gives her more faith) and repeats Piper's name until it become her own odd sort of offering, a strange incantation.

…

' _Nichols says the most likeable thing about me is you.'_

' _That's kind of her.'_

' _Is it?'_

' _Yes.'_

' _Is it true?'_

' _No. Absolutely not.'_

' _Pipes?'_

' _Yeah..?'_

' _You look prettier when you lie.'_

…

She's found a box of mementos; movie ticket stubs, cards and CD's and silly sticky notes with smiley faces and kisses. Nicky has told her to toss anything that acts as a reminder, but the memories cling to her, like possessive spectral things that aren't as easy to destroy as the physical.

And she remembers the promises that they'd made to each other the last Christmas they were together, of travel and adventures and careless dreams.

 _The world is only as big or small as you want it to be,_ she'd said, throwing her arms around Alex's neck and kissing her so tenderly, that the brunette's bones ached for more.

 _You just have to choose_

And right now, trapped between the devil and the deep blue sea, she's not so sure that she can.


	8. Chapter 8

_**AN: Hello chaps, here's another chapter for you. I reckon we're still in filler territory, but I figure, why the hell not?**_

 _ **Reviews and all that malarkey are always valued. They cheer my soul.**_

 _ **Enjoy.**_

…

 _As they start to cry hands held to the sky_

 _In the night the fires are burning bright_

 _The ritual has begun, Satan's work is done_

 _ **The Number of the Beast, Iron Maiden**_

…

All the local stores are gearing up towards Thanksgiving, even though it's over a month away and Alex can't help but feel she doesn't have much to give thanks for. She toys with the idea of buying the biggest, fattest, frozen turkey she can find, setting it aflame and throwing it through the window of the Chapman house.

Nicky laughs when she tells her, when she thinks the brunette isn't being serious, but as soon as she realises there's a real chance Alex may actually do it, she becomes uncharacteristically sombre. 'Listen Vause, they'll call the cops for sure, you don't wanna spend months behind bars for that do you? Don't give them another reason to send you away, huh?'

' _Another_ reason?'

Nichols averts her gaze embarrassed, 'I just meant…'

'You meant in _addition_ to murdering their daughter right?'

'What? No! Fuck Vause, don't pull that shit on me, I've had your back through this whole thing!'

'So? You want a fucking medal?!' She almost feels bad saying it, because throughout all of this, Nichols has pretty much been the one constant, but maybe she is losing hope too? Maybe the veneer is slipping and exposing precisely what Alex _is_. And perhaps that's just a little too unpalatable.

But Nicky just shakes her head, says she should leave. 'You know,' she adds, as she's stood in the doorway, 'maybe even Piper wouldn't like you very much right now.'

Alex has a horrible feeling that she's right.

…

She lives mostly as a ghost, people staring straight through her and most of the time that suits her fine and in a way, she figures she is a kind of spectre, stuck in a torrid limbo between living and merely existing.

The truth is, the last moment she felt anything that was viscerally valid, was when the cops had shown her a picture of Piper's blood soaked scarf. And for a second, her brain wouldn't piece the two bits of information together; the crimson stain and Piper's scarf. But then the police are asking Alex about her whereabouts the night before and the look on their face is telling her that pretty much _any_ answer that she gives them is going to be wrong.

But actually, it's a full 24 hours before she realises she's _not_ okay and things turn pretty sour from then onwards.

The press get on her case quickly, cobbling together a patchwork of loose facts to formulate the most sensationalist story that they can. 'You seen the Herald today?' Nicky calls to ask one morning, in the early days, back when Piper's blood hadn't begun to rust.

'No, why?'

'Apparently you're a descendant of Jack the Ripper..'

'He was British and nobody even knows who Jack the fucking Ripper was!'

' _That's_ you're only problem with this?'

And Alex laughs, although she doesn't mean to, but really, how has she ended up _here?_

But days they drift into weeks and anniversary's she never wants to acknowledge start stacking up (a month since she's been gone, six months…a year).

And the pain isn't fucking alright, not even a little bit.

…

She's at the grocery store one day, hood up (she's kept the habit even though the horns have not returned) waiting in line at the checkout and she spots Cal. They lock eyes briefly and without thinking, she drops her shopping basket and rushes over. But when she's stood dead in front of him, she has no idea what to say, only that this is the sole way she knows to feel close to Piper.

'Hey' she shakily ventures. She's not entirely sure what she's expecting him to do, yell at her? Ignore her? And she's not sure which she would prefer.

But he doesn't do either, just says hello back and then stands for a while, hands stuffed in the pockets of his jeans, as if he's mulling over what he really wants to say, maybe even psyching himself up.

And now she's beginning to think this was a mistake, because really, what was she hoping to achieve from this? Standing in a grocery store aisle, with the brother of the woman she is supposed to have killed.

'I know you didn't do it,' he finally says and Alex's heart jolts, as if it's been brought back to life.

And all she can do is say thank you, mutter it over and over like a prayer. Until Cal finally asks her if she wants to take a walk and she agrees without pausing for further thought.

They take a stroll in the park, the day is frosty and the lake is frozen. They watch kids trying to slide across the surface, courting danger and Alex thinks it would only take a slight fracture of the ice to make the whole thing crack, create a brutal chasm, from which there would be no return.

'It's weird without her,' Cal says after they've got coffee and made small talk about the holiday season. 'Like I don't think I'll ever get used to it, you know?'

Alex nods, she wants to say he won't have to get used to it, but in the circumstances it would just feel like naïve hope, so she stays quiet.

'I better get going,' he says after a few minutes, 'before mom sends out the cavalry.'

'You mean Danny?'

'Yeah,' he grins. 'See you around,' and he turns to leave, but Alex has to know and if she doesn't ask him now, she never will.

'Wait, Cal,' she says, before he disappears, 'I need to know why.'

'Why?'

'Why you think I didn't do it.'

And his answer is so ridiculously simple and reminiscent of the boy she has spent so many holidays playing arcade games with, she isn't sure why it surprises her so much.

'Because I _know_ you Alex.'

And then he's gone and she's back to being alone.

…

 _The disused warehouse had been Nichols's idea, a place to throw 'the all nighter of the century' she had promised, but as they're making their way along the dirt track to the venue, Polly doesn't seem to be convinced._

' _What about the cops? How do we know they aren't gonna show up?' she asks, eyes darting around as if she's expecting them to leap out from behind a tree._

' _Cops have got bigger fish to fry,' Nicky insists, 'plus Stella knows someone on the force, he's said he'll steer them away from the area for tonight.'_

 _Alex rolls her eyes, 'Yeah, I'm sure she's got plenty of friends in high places, know the president aswell does she?'_

' _Hilarious. Ya know, I really don't get what your issue is with her, she turn you down or something?' she grins, 'Because some of us don't have_ _ **that**_ _problem with the ladies.'_

' _Yeah yeah, you're the original Don Lothario Nichols,' Alex says. Wondering why Stella's presence is always so prevalent these days._

 _Piper squeezes the brunette's hand tighter and it helps her bones relax a little, make her blood hum pleasurably and most importantly, push the ill feeling toward Stella to the back of her mind._ _ **For now.**_

 _The building is partly boarded up, pretty much derelict in fact and Polly's top lip immediately curls up in repulsion._

' _Place looks like it's gonna have rats….'_

 _Nicky laughs, 'So? What's wrong with a bit of character?'_

' _Character? Is that what you call the potential threat of rabies?'_

' _I've had worse,' Nicky grins._

 _They take the side entrance, the door already hanging off its hinges and follow the reverberations of a song Alex recognises from last summer. And it could be the fact she's already a little drunk from the three shots of tequila they downed before they left for the party, or that Piper is grinning at her goofily, reminiscent of the first day they met, when they were kids and it all seemed much less complicated, but she's got a feeling, that this is going to be one of those nights that weaves itself into the fabric of her brain._

 _So she watches the other revellers drink and smoke and flirt and pulls Piper so close they cannot see anything but each other. And the evening drifts around them, a silly kind of irrelevance._

' _You're the original sin,' she whispers to the blonde, with lips that taste of wine._

' _So what does that make you?' she replies, tugging on the collars of Alex's jacket, her back pressed to the wall._

' _The devil,' Alex grins._

…

She finally caves and agrees to visit her mother at the café. It's been three weeks since her run in with Stella and her pals and so most of her facial wounds have healed, although two of her back teeth are still cracked and her jaw makes an odd clicking sound. But the broken ribs are easy enough to hide, so she figures it will be ok.

Her mother's face breaks into a huge, childlike beam as soon as she spots the brunette and for a second, everything is okay again, like before, when she could love Alex without a caveat.

'Perfect timing,' she says, busying herself behind the counter, slicing a huge slab of cherry pie, 'I just closed up for the day.'

Alex glances up at the clock, 'it's 2.30pm mom.'

Diane brushes a strand of hair away from her face and Alex notices just how tired she looks, as if any given second, she could crumple into a heap. 'Tuesdays can be quiet, plus I wanted to spend time with you, it's been so long Al.' She places the plate of pie in front of the brunette and pulls her into a clumsy embrace, pressing against the brunette's damaged ribcage. Alex can feel the individual cells of her body straining, as she tries to bite back a scream.

When she pulls away, Alex busies herself, shovelling mouthfuls of pie into her mouth and hopes her mother hasn't noticed anything untoward.

'You look like you've lost weight Al, you've gotta look after yourself better baby.'

Alex doesn't reply, she's learnt from experience that these things work better when she remains silent. So Diane changes tack, asks her about work, about Nicky, about regular stuff _normal_ people are supposed to talk about. And Alex plays the game, she's gotten good at it she thinks.

'Hey, where d'ya get that?' Diane says reaching across and curling her fingers around Piper's pendent. Alex instinctively pulls back and before she can think about it, the chain has snapped and it falls to the floor with a hollow clink.

'Shit!' Alex says scooping it up and stuffing it into her pocket. She's not one for superstition, but being accused of murdering your girlfriend and growing horns, gives a person a slightly altered sense of perspective. And this cannot be a good omen.

Diane is looking at her with mixture of concern and confusion. So Alex cobbles together an excuse, about being tired and feeling under the weather and excuses herself hurriedly.

'I'm sorry about the necklace, her mother says, packing her a couple more slices of pie, 'I know the jewellers around the corner, want me to take it in there tomorrow and see if they can fix it?'

But Alex declines, she lies about Nichols knowing someone who can repair it for free, so Diane waves her off and makes her promise to visit the following week.

The walk home feels strange without the pendant around her neck, her skin feels oddly tingly, like she's cold, except her cheeks are flushed and her hands feel clammy.

When she gets home she showers and decides to nap, hoping she'll feel less out of sorts.

She dreams vividly about Piper, they're swimming together in the ocean, the water deliciously warm and suddenly the sky swirls into grey and then black and the sea is tossed upside down and they're both falling and Alex is desperately clinging to Piper's hand, but it slips out of her grasp. And then she's flailing in thin air, struggling for traction, gathering speed on her descent, and just as she's about to hit the ground flush, she blinks rapidly awake and lies still, in the cool shadows of her room, trying to persuade herself the dream means nothing.

She sits up, runs a hand through her hair and stops dead.

 _It can't be._

She bolts out of bed and rushes to the bathroom mirror and sure enough, there are the horns, as if they'd never gone away, and Alex has never been happier to see them.

…

' _When did you realise you loved me?'_

' _Pipes, it's like 96 degrees, can we have this conversation when my skin feels more human?' Alex says shifting her position on the bed, so she's more in line with the fan._

' _Well I've got air con at mine.'_

' _And a Carol and Bill, I think I'll stick to the stifling heat, thanks,' she grins._

' _Answer my question!"_

' _Nope,'_

' _Why?'_

' _Because Piper,' she says turning towards the blonde so they're lying face to face, 'you already know the answer….'_

 _They're silent for a minute, Piper thinking it over….'You're right,' she finally says, kissing Alex soft and warm. 'And by the way….me too.'_


	9. Chapter 9

_**AN: Hello, I have returned. Still not sure how long this thing is going to be, it seems to have developed a life of it's own, but for now I'll just see where it takes me.**_

 _ **Thank you, as per, for your lovely comments and thoughts, more are welcome.**_

 _ **Here's chapter 9 for your delectation, flashbacks in italics.**_

 _ **Enjoy.**_

…

 _Where have all the good men gone_

 _And where are all the gods?_

 _ **Bonnie Tyler, I Need a Hero**_

…

It sort of comes out of nowhere when Nichols says it. Alex is aimlessly flicking through TV channels, vaguely trying to formulate a plan in her head, one that will implicate Stella as quickly as possible. So when Nicky says, 'you do realise Chapman's probably dead don't you?' It slices through the brunette, sudden and jagged, so that for a second, her breath is twisted in her throat.

'What?' she half chokes out.

Nicky shifts uncomfortably on the couch, 'I just mean, after all this time Vause, there's still no sign of her and well…it doesn't look great does it?'

Alex isn't entirely sure if her friend wants a response, or if she's even expecting one, but the statement has caught her off guard. Sure, in the darkest recesses of her mind, hidden away like some dusty, attic treasure chest, there is a vague notion of Piper being dead, but it's abstract, barely there, like a fine winter mist and most of the time she's good at dismissing it quickly, allowing it to melt into the shadows, but this time it's being said out loud, _directly_ at her, by someone who doesn't think she's the culprit.

So she mumbles something about the scarf proving nothing and the lack of a body and the memory of the night of her arrest crashes against the banks of her brain.

 _Most murder victims know the perpetrator._

'Listen, Vause, I shouldn't have said anything, maybe…' Her voice is butter soft around the edges, Alex rarely hears it like that, it's usually bravado and wisecracks and it makes her insides feel like jelly and a lump lodges firmly in her throat.

'Maybe?'

'I just can't keep seeing you like this, if you can accept she's not coming back, then maybe you can start living again…and I know Diane's worried about you. Just focus on what you _can_ control.'

'I am,' she says, sort of snapping, thinking of ways in which she can slowly torture Carlin once she's confessed to her crime. Her horns seem to tingle at the thought.

'Sure ya are, moping in here night after night, drinking yourself into oblivion..'

'Listen, when I need your advice….'

'You'll crack open another bottle of bourbon? Yeah, I know your style by now.' She shakes her head, but it's not in anger or frustration, instead, it smacks of an ingrained weariness.

And then it suddenly dawns on Alex, the way she's going to kill two birds with one stone. 'Fine,' she says, her face breaking into an odd sort of smile, 'let's go out tonight, to The Loft, for some drinks.'

Nichols' face hardens, lips thinned, 'you wanna go to the bar Stella works at?'

'Sure, why not, for old time's sake,' she says, as a thick, darkness marbles her thoughts.

'No trouble?' Nichols says, raising an eyebrow.

'No trouble.'

'Well, you better cover those up,' she says pointing at the horns , 'you should get them seen by a doctor anyway….'

Alex nods, 'will do, just give me a couple days.'

They chat for a little while about nothing much, but Nicky seems more guarded that usual, as if she's weary of her friend and by the time she leaves, she can't contain herself, her trepidation bubbling over. 'Listen Vause, about tonight, are you sure it's a good idea to go to The Loft? I mean you and Stella never did see eye to eye…'

'Water under the bridge,' Alex says smiling so hard it begins to hurt her face, 'besides beats sitting around here right?'

'It does?' Nicky says, still confused by the sudden zeal the brunette has for leaving the house and socialising.

'Sure, I mean, you know what they say, the devil makes work for idle hands.'

…

Alex had started a new routine around three months after Piper disappeared. She'd sit on the floor of the living room, pouring through boxes of pictures, scattering them around her; a confetti of memories, until she could settle on one of Piper. And then she'd gaze at it, trance like, trying to visualise all the details; where it was taken, if it had rained, what Piper was saying immediately before and after the camera click.

And some days it helps, makes her feel a little closer to the blonde, but on others, it just unpicks the wound, every detail, a grain of salt to the lesion. Alex never was much for self-flagellation.

Today is no different. The still she settles on, is one from a local fair, taken three years ago. Piper's hair looks so blonde it gives her a strange, ethereal glow and her eyes are soft and yielding. She's gripping a bag of half eaten cotton candy in one hand and her mouth is half smile, half protest as she stands in front of the carousel.

' _Don't take a picture Al,' she gently complains._

' _Why not?'_

' _My hands are all sticky and gross.'_

' _Well guess what Pipes?'_

' _What?' she says, putting up a hand, to shield her eyes from the sun._

' _No one will be able to tell in a picture.'_

 _And then she laughs._

And suddenly the memory is all bared teeth and claws, nipping at her viciously, finding every patch of exposed flesh and for a second, the pain is so raw, that it elicits an odd, primal sort of sound from her, and she stays like that for a while, curled up in a ball, trapped in a prison of memories.

But even now, she's not really sure she wants to escape.

…

 _Polly Harper has gone from mildly irritating to monumental pain in the ass in the space of a week. This is because her cousin, Jared, is in town and she's encouraging Piper to meet them for Christmas drinks this evening._

 _Alex knows exactly where this is going, it's a lame ass set up and she's currently grinding a sugar cube into dust as Polly guffaws about how great it would be to date a guy who's at an Ivy League college._

' _I mean you'll be graduating Smith in a couple years, doesn't hurt to think about the future does it?'_

' _Maybe you should spend more time on your_ _ **own**_ _future_ _ **Pol**_ _,' Alex interrupts, voice hardening around the nickname, as if it's some sort of insult._

' _Al,' Piper says, gently nudging her with an elbow and hunkering down into her seat in the booth, hoping in some way, that it might make her less visible._

 _Over the years she's gotten used to being stuck in the middle of Alex and Polly's spats, but this is the first time Polly is out and out trying to set her up in front of the brunette and Piper knows it's only a matter of time before the mood cracks irreparably and Alex says something they might_ _ **all**_ _regret._

' _It's fine Pipes, I'm used to it,' Polly says rolling her eyes, but to Piper's chagrin, it doesn't dull her enthusiasm for the topic. 'So shall we say 8pm my place?'_

' _I need a smoke,' Alex says, sliding off her seat, not caring that she's probably deadened the mood with an abrupt exit, in fact, in her own assholish way, she's banking on it._

 _She stands under a Tupperware sky, watching birds soar and dip methodically, half wishing the likes of Polly Harper would be washed away by a storm. The wind slices at her, snuffing out the flame from the match. 'Stupid fucking things,' she growls, tossing the box into a nearby puddle._

' _Talk about cutting your nose off to spite your face.' Piper says and it's so gentle, it's almost a purr and Alex finds herself struggling to hold onto the threads of her resentment._

' _Shouldn't you be hurrying off home to get ready for your hot date with Jared?' Alex says. In her head, the statement was meant to be blunt and scathing, but now that Piper is standing in front of her, it comes off as stroppy, pathetically childlike._

' _Come on Al, please don't tell me you're gonna waste my vacation time being pissy about some random dude?'_

' _Jared.'_

' _You didn't answer my question.'_

' _I wasn't aware it required a response.'_

' _Well it does.'_

' _So?'_

 _Piper pulls her around the side of the diner, where they're shielded from the main road and the parking lot. 'Alex,' she says candy sweet and the brunette finds another couple of threads of her resolve snapping._

' _You need to tell her,' Alex replies, but even this lacks any sort of bite, because Pipers' breath is on her cheek, the warmth of her body pressed so firmly into Alex's, she can feel the blonde's heartbeat._

' _I love you,' Piper says, her body tensing as she delivers the words, as if she really needs to make them count. 'We'll tell everyone like we planned, just please, let me finish college first?'_

 _And Alex thinks back to the girl with the pendent, the one who wanted to build a tree house in the sky and there's only ever one answer she can give;_

' _Okay,' she says kissing her, 'Okay,' she says not giving a damn about Jared. 'Okay,' she says wishing the world would burn around them and leave them be. 'Okay.'_

...

The club is seedy, a place that out of towners are told to avoid, by those in the know. But seedy is where Alex feels comfortable these days, a testament to the horns (safely hidden under a hoodie).

A lump of a security guard immediately bars their entry, placing a firm hand on Alex's wrist and then his eyes glaze over. 'I like to dress up in my wife's clothes when she's out of the house, especially the stockings and suspenders,' he says, 'I wish I could do it all the time.'

The brunette twists her arm free, while Nichols looks on awe struck.

'Whoa dude, too much information,' she says looking the security guard up and down, 'I mean, don't get me wrong, what you do on your time isn't my business, but your wife's hosiery? Well we gotta draw the line somewhere don't we? We're civilised people after all.' And she grins and Alex's knows this can only go one of two ways and she's praying it's the way that's going to enable her plan to work.

And to her surprise (and relief) the man seems confused and embarrassed and just hurries them through.

'What the fuck was that?!' Nichols says, mouth agape, when they get inside.

Alex shrugs, 'who knows, best not to question these things.'

Nichols doesn't argue.

The bass in the club is so loud, that it causes the glasses resting on the bar top to rattle, but Alex's eyes are already hunting out Stella. It doesn't take her long to trace her, she's at the far end, re-stocking bottles of beer in the chiller cabinet.

'I'm just gonna head to the bathroom,' she tells Nichols, not bothering to wait for a response. She tosses a final glance over her shoulder at her friend, who's busy chatting to one of the barmaids and then she waits in the dimly lit corridor away from the main bar area, that leads directly to the stock room. She figures Stella will be back here shortly, she just needs to be patient.

Every part of her is like a coiled spring, so that even the tiniest sound or scraping of a bar stool sets her heart stuttering and she remembers the last time she was here, with Piper, and they'd made out in the shadows of the exact spot where she is now stood, and for a minute, she can smell her perfume, feel a soft tendril of Piper's hair curling around her fingertip.

' _At least we're not having bathroom sex,' Piper had laughed, 'that's such a cliché.'_

And then they'd gone and done it anyway. And the memory spears her so suddenly, she almost doesn't see Stella, stood right in front of her.

'Vause? The fuck you doin here?!' she says, warily and given what happened last time they were alone, Alex isn't surprised.

'Just shut the fuck up and listen,' Alex says dragging her into the stock room. The proximity to Stella, Piper's murderer, is sending her sick with rage and it's all she can do not to choke every single last bit of weasely breath out of her.

The shelves are lined with case upon case of booze and large bags of cheap peanuts. Carlin leans against a beer barrel examining the brunette closely, still on her guard.

'You've got one minute,' she snarls 'don't try anything smart, i'm guessing your bruises have only just healed from last time.' And she grins and the horns throb manically and the last grasp Alex has on her own sanity slips through her fingers as she charges at Carlin, demanding the truth, desperate for her confession.

Carlin's lips begin to move, as if she's trying to formulate words, but she goes staggering into the rack of bottles to avoid the brunette's grasp and as Alex stumbles backwards, she can do nothing, but watch, motionless, as Stella Carlin is buried under an avalanche of glass.


	10. Chapter 10

_**AN: Hello chaps. So some news-firstly, this is the final chapter for this story, so thank you so much for all the comments/reviews you've all provided and I hope this wraps things up neatly enough for you.**_

 _ **Secondly, I'm working on a sequel to 'Winter's Shadow' the first chapter of which should go live very shortly, so look out for that.**_

 _ **Anyway, here's the concluding part.**_

 _ **Enjoy.**_

…

 _For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against rulers, against authorities, against the powers of this dark world…_

 _ **Ephesians 6:11-16**_

…

She's been running, but she's lost track of where she's going or how much time has passed, only stopping when her muscles begin to burn and breath is knifing its way out of her throat.

Eventually she stops outside a gas station she vaguely recognises, on the outskirts of town and she's bent double, hands on her knees, trying not to be sick.

 _Fuck._

Her one chance at redemption, now gone.

 _Ashes to ashes, dust to dust._

She would laugh if it wasn't all so pathetically tragic. And then her cell phone rings and she knows exactly who it's going to be before she's even picked up; Nichols.

She takes another large lungful of air before she answers. There are fragments of background noise, but then Nichols is speaking before Alex even has a chance to say hello; a freight train of words almost slamming into one another.

'Vause? Where the fuck are you? There's been an accident at the club, the cops are here...'

A normal person's reaction to that statement (that is, a person that wasn't witness to, or if she's really honest, _integral_ to the accident) would be one of shock, questions tripping off their tongue, but she feels exhausted, every ounce of everything she possesses, spent, so all she can muster is 'oh,' flat and hollow.

'Are you...are you ok?' Nichols says, trepidation cloaking her words.

All Alex has to say is yes, it's just one simple word, but she can't bring it to her lips and her head feels light and her throat dry and all she really wants to do is curl up in bed, enter the chasm of slumber and never return.

 _But in the beginning there was Piper._

'Vause! You hear me?!' Her friend continues, but this time it's slightly more fraught, an urgency she doesn't usually associate with Nicky.

'I'm fine, just felt a bit ill is all, I think I'm going to head home.'

'Home? Where are you now?'

'Just out...listen...I have to go, I'll speak to you later...'

'Was it you?' She asks, after a short pause. Alex guesses she's been building up to asking this for the duration of the call.

'Was what me?'

'Did you...' she stops short, as if checking herself one final time, before delivering the hammer blow. 'Stella...did you?'

'Karma's a bitch isn't it?' The brunette replies matter of factly. The horns are lightly buzzing and it's making her feel as though she's walking through a world of clouds, as if everything tangible is just beyond her reach.

'Vause. This is serious, you realise that don't you? If you did this...then...then...'

'Then I'm a murderer? Well most of the town already thinks that Nick, so what difference would it make, really?'

The background noise is louder now, chattering voices and traffic. Alex figures they've made them evacuate the club whilst they cordon it off and the police investigate.

'She's dead Vause, you know that right? Stella is dead. And I know you're hurting, over Piper, over _all_ of this messed up shit, but it was nothing to do with Carlin, nothing at all…is that what you've been thinking all this time?' Her voice is shaky, fracturing around the last words, as if the reality of it has just caught up with her, but even now, Alex has no sympathy for Carlin, she only hopes the death wasn't quick.

'Listen Nick, I know you had some sort of relationship with her, but you don't know what she's capable of.' And then the memory of high school graduation begins bleeding into her brain and there's nothing she can do to stem the flow. Carlin stood outside the library, the place that Piper had agreed to meet Alex after the ceremony, except Alex was running late, caught in conversation with Diane and a customer from the café and so she'd only caught the tail end of their conversation, partially obscured by an SUV, but it was enough, _more_ than enough.

 _She's mixing in bad circles Chapman…..her father is Lee Burley after all…..Dougie Raymond….once you're in with that crew, there's only one way out….._

And Piper had backed away, trying to escape the volley of words, until she's pinned to the redbrick of the library wall. And then she repeats two words and it makes Alex's insides crumple, because it's as though she's actually giving it some consideration, as if some part of her brain can't quite get past the idea.

 _Dougie Raymond?_

Carlin nods, mentions something about large-scale narcotics distribution, how Alex is just a runner, _for now._ But Piper just keeps repeating the name, over and over, as if some switch has been flicked and it's stuck.

 _Dougieraymonddougieraymonddougieraymonddougieraymond_

And Alex is sick with disgust, over the outright lies Carlin is telling, the unashamed game play and above all, the fact that her own girlfriend hasn't said one word in her defence.

She takes another step forward, until she's almost is full view of them and before she has a chance to process further, Carlin is pressed against Piper, her lips on the blonde's, Piper shoves her roughly away, 'fuck you!' she spits, her eyes glassy, cheeks flushed, 'you're supposed to be my friend, my friend and _Alex's_ friend,' but Carlin only grins in response.

'C'mon Pipes, you knew there was only one way this could end, you _always_ did, we're not kids anymore' and she's on her again, but this time with more force and by the time Alex's body has caught up with the whirring of her mind, Piper has shoved Carlin off again, but with a more brutal force, so that Stella stumbles backwards and it's a few seconds before she's able to regulate her bearings.

By the time Alex has sprinted over to Stella, she has a vague notion of Piper yelling her name, but the curtain of darkness has now begun to descend and she's not sure of where she can find the light.

But she's too late, a crowd has begun to gather, _witnesses_ and Carlin is all too aware of the advantage this leaves her at, as she straightens herself out and dusts herself down.

'You ok buddy?' she asks Alex. And it's so genuine, wrapped in an irrelevant sort of carefree attitude, that for a second, Alex begins questioning what she's witnessed. But then Piper is by her side, dragging her away from Carlin and the crowd and they slip inside the main school building and into a deserted classroom.

'Did you…did you see what happened?' Piper asks, breathless, although by the look on her face, Alex guesses she already knows the answer.

She nods. Still not sure what to make of it all, that the one person who she thought knew her better than anyone, could think so little of her.

'I saw _and_ I heard,' she says, not bothering to soften he tone.

And to Alex's surprise Piper doesn't begin apologising or asking for an explanation, she merely repeats the name, _Dougie Raymond_ , in one fraught breath and before the brunette has a chance to add anything further, the blonde flops down into one of the empty chairs and says 'that's the name I've overheard my dad mentioning the last year or so, _Dougie Raymond_ …..I think my dad's in trouble Alex.'

…

Of course Alex could explain all of this to Nichols, that the ill feeling between her and Stella was based on things that Nicky wasn't party to, but she doesn't and in her own stubborn way, she figures she really shouldn't have to.

'This is bullshit,' she mumbles instead, 'No, I didn't kill her ok, it was a fucking accident, not that she didn't have any of it coming to her, but tell me one thing Nichols, how can you be so fucking sure she didn't have anything to do with Piper's disappearance, because I am sure as hell sick to death of you being her fucking cheerleader…you've got three seconds and then I'm hanging up.'

There's a hint of a pause and just as Alex is about to hang up, just as she's mentally severing ties with Nicky Nichols, she finally provides Alex with an answer she's not sure what to do with; 'because Vause, the night Chapman went missing, Stella was with me. At Dougie Raymond's party.'

…

'Are you fucking kidding me? And you never thought to tell me this until now?!' She paces away from the gas station, following the curve of the road out into some nearby cornfields, the moon her only guide. An eerie stillness presides, one that lays so thickly, Alex is sure she could reach out and slice straight through it.

'Well what did you want me to say? I didn't know you actually thought Stella had something to do with Chapman disappearing, well not until tonight at least and you've never really liked her have you, but all this time….' She tails off, as if she realises she's made a mistake, not piecing two and two together.

'You have no idea what you've done.' Alex says, her fingertips running over the horns, 'and what the fuck were you doing at Dougie Raymond's?'

'What do you think?'

'You fucking idiot…'

'Look it was a while ago, I'm not about that scene anymore….but you gotta listen to me Vause, people saw you here today, it's only a matter of time before the cops come and question you, so….'

But Alex is no longer listening, because the answer has been staring her in the face all this time and it's only here, stood in the inky shadows that she knows what she needs to do.

'I have to go,' she says hanging up, not allowing Nicky to even bid her farewell. And she's striding purposefully back to the main road, horns positively thrumming, Bill Chapman in her sights.

…

The Chapman household is still. Rage pulses through the brunette at the thought of Carol and Bill sleeping without a care for what they've inflicted on Alex and her mother, the months of blame she's carried with her, as if it's been seared onto her skin. But tonight she's out for the truth and she won't leave with anything else.

She hops the wrought iron gate, something she's done countless times before, as a high school kid, sneaking in to see Piper and makes her way around the back of the house. Bill Chapman's study light is on…

 _Luck of the devil._

The backdoor is unlocked, which isn't surprising given that Bill hasn't gone to bed yet, so she slips in as quietly as she can muster.

She knows the blueprint of this house better than any school textbook she's ever memorised and so it only takes her a minute to navigate her way to the study.

The door is ajar, the warm glow of light spilling into the hall as if it's guiding Alex's path. She hears the clank of the whiskey decanter on the wooden desk and then a deep sigh and Alex's is thinking that by the time she's done with Bill, he's gonna wish he'd had a helluva lot more booze than that.

She licks her lips, horns itching, as if they're impatient for something to happen and she figures she doesn't want to disappoint. She pushes the door open, it creeks and Bill immediately turns around. When he realises it's Alex, he's up on his slippered feet, walking towards her, 'what the fuck are you doing here?'

But now her hands are around his throat, Bill's movements slower than she had expected (probably the liquor) and rather than pushing her off, his body goes slack and he stares off into the distance. 'I know you didn't take Piper, it was Dougie Raymond, I owe him money, he won't release her until I've paid him off.' And then he pauses, looks her straight in the eye, 'but I never did like you anyway, you filthy degenerate, so I didn't have to push too hard for the police to think it was something to do with _you_ rather than _me_ …they were all to keen to believe the spawn of Lee Burley would be capable of this.'

And suddenly Carol Chapman's words from weeks come drifting back to her….

 _I know you didn't do it…..but it's easier this way_

'You son of a bitch!' she screams, with every ounce of strength that's left in her, over and over again, until her throat is scraped raw. And it's a heady mixture of relief and anger, because she was right all along, Piper _is_ alive and it sends such a jolt of joy through her, that it's a few seconds before she spots Carol Chapman staring at her from the doorway. Her eyes are wide, afraid of Alex, afraid of the _truth._

And finally Bill Chapman breaks free of her grip and shoves Alex back into a metal filing cabinet, her shoulder smacks into it with a sickening crack.

'Get the fuck out of here, before I make you regret it,' he hisses.

'Bill, no!' Carol says rushing forward and Alex guesses from her reaction that she's heard it all, the accidental confession. 'We can't go on like this…she knows now….'

But Bill ignores her, strides over to his bureau drawer and pulls out a gun. His grip is shaky and Alex's guesses he's never so much as pulled the trigger before.

'Wow, such a big man,' she snarls, 'one that is too gutless to save his daughter from danger, because it protects _him_ from jail!' She takes a step towards him, but he backs away, gun still flimsily pointed at her.

'Don't meddle in things you don't understand Vause, if you leave now and keep your mouth shut…then I'll make it worth your while….i'll make it so that….'

'You piece of shit, even now you can't bring yourself to do the right, thing. I'm giving you _one_ last chance, give me the gun and hand yourself in…' she takes another step forward, but Bill doesn't move, just tightening his fingers around the trigger.

'Bill!' Carol cries out again, 'just put the gun down, you're not thinking straight, the stress, the…'

But Alex is done with talking, she makes a grab for the gun, struggling with Bill Chapman, until they're both on the ground, Carol's voice pleading for them to stop, ringing in her ears. And then a gunshot rips through the air, and in that one simple motion, it's all over.

…

 _The lake is so still today it almost doesn't seem real, like an oil painting or a photograph. Piper asks her if she's ok and Alex smiles and nods, even though the scar from the gunshot is tingling a bit, like it always does when there's a chill in the air._

 _The trial was swift enough and by the time Bill Chapman is released from prison (Carol escaped on a technicality) he'll be an old man. Alex likes to think that he's learnt his lesson, that day after day trapped in the confines of a prison cell will have allowed him to repent, but thus far, she hasn't even received an apology._

 _They moved away shortly after the trial, Piper refusing to keep in touch with anyone but Danny and Cal (only returning briefly, for her grandmother's funeral). Sometimes Diane comes to stay, but it's mainly just the two of them and the wet earth and the fresh breeze and she kinda likes it that way._

 _The horns disappeared after they found Piper and they've never been back since and Alex figures it's because Piper is the thing that keeps her sane, human; her innermost beast at bay, and in her absence, her pendent acted in the same way._

 _It's a simple life, but it's more than Alex could ever have hoped for._

 _And on days like this, they still search for their tree house in the sky. Maybe one day, they'll be lucky enough to find it._


End file.
